Uff... a lot of things have come together here that led to this situation. Some of it is also self-inflicted. You simply should have informed yourselves more and more thoroughly.
Topic cost groups: After being commissioned, the architect is responsible for cost groups 300 & 400 if you plan all service phases. Unless you also commission him additionally for the outdoor facilities, etc. Apparently, parts of cost group 200 are also included because of demolition. Personally, I have always calculated with gross amounts and the cost estimate based on volume worked out for 300 & 400.
Especially since I have now learned from acquaintances who are building in parallel that they received a detailed cost estimate according to DIN 276 at one of the first appointments with their architect.
I don't know what the acquaintances told you or what you understood, but I can hardly imagine that.
With us it went like this:
- Getting to know each other and getting a feel for things including our layout ideas
- Architect visited the plot and read the development plan
- First floor plan proposal and volume estimate. That results in sum X (quite simply 850m³ x 400€) which can vary up by 20% because it’s a gut feeling estimate. That’s just how it is. After that there was the handshake that we wanted to work together. Here there is no detailed cost estimate!!!
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From here you can theoretically go to the bank and apply for a loan based on the cost estimate. But you can also be off by 20%
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You only get a first real cost framework once all offers are available and even then a 5% deviation is still possible. But by then you are already in service phase 7 of 8. I'll leave out service phase 9.
From your architect’s behavior I currently see nothing that is unprofessional, except that he owes you the information on how he arrived at the 325k€.
Believe it or not, this is the normal procedure. Some make a little more or less effort. Whether the cost estimate is then better, however, I seriously doubt at such an early stage as this.