Construction loan - Ex-partner does not pay his share

My solution would look like this if they were common children and repaying the loan were affordable: The ex transfers her apartment to the children (gift) and receives a right of residence. Your partner pays off the loan. If the adult children can contribute, even better. The ex retains a livelihood, the money goes to the children. Nothing is lost except liquidity. You just have a partner with a little less money. All the legal stuff is rubbish and only costs everyone quality of life, threatens the relationship with the children, and causes losses. In the end, it’s just money.

Do I understand you correctly that one should grant the ex a right of residence? Or do you mean the children? Why should the ex get a right of residence when she hasn't paid or contributed anything?

She gives far more than 30,000€. So a right of residence is reasonable, isn't it? Whether she paid or not or worked while the children were growing up or not or what life plan and reasons for separation exist – all speculation.

If no one makes any kind of move towards each other and insists on their supposed right, it will lead to nothing. Money alone probably won't solve this, because in my opinion it's usually not really about money but about hurt feelings, injuries, etc., and those are always present on both sides! I consider it the worst possible way to task the children with getting the mother to give in to the father’s way, because it simply doesn’t belong there! One should not approach this with numbers alone and better be able to live with the fact that the mother of the children/the father of the children might be financially somewhat better off; so what? Ultimately, you can also arrange an inheritance so that it goes to the children, then it’s just parked on one side until then. As soon as lawyers get involved, it gets expensive and often more conflict-ridden... for the children, it becomes really terrible anyway, because then the parents don’t talk to each other anymore. , I would stay out of it as best as possible; you probably can’t contribute much to it; your partner should better handle it for themselves. For the children, it is the mother, even if she did the most stupid things.

The matter is actually relatively simple and clear! For such a case, the payment obligation was notarized. The payment obligation towards the bank remains and must therefore be serviced; the ex obtains a title against their ex and enforces it with all consequences, done! No witchcraft and the mood afterwards might not be the best, but so what? Or if you have money to give away, then of course you don’t demand it back for the sake of peace!

, because in my opinion it is usually not really about money but about grievances, injuries, etc., and those are always present on both sides!

I see it exactly the same way. Therefore, it is helpful if a person manages to distance themselves somewhat and see how the situation can be best resolved for all parties involved.

We do not know the situation. Therefore, calling for a lawyer or obtaining a title may be a very bad piece of advice. Just one example typical from my circle of acquaintances: While he focused on his career, she held back professionally and organized children and the jointly purchased house. He paid the installments, she is listed in the land register and credit obligation. With adult children, there were no more issues. Separation. She has poor prerequisites for re-entering the workforce and fears for her existence. Now sue or acquire a title? That can be pretty shabby.

Of course, the situation can also be different. We do not know. What should we advise?