Construction loan - Ex-partner does not pay his share

I’m actually not sure right now whether this has also been changed in the land register. There were floor plans lying around once, and every cellar room etc. was numbered, indicating who owns what, and a right of first refusal was granted to the respective other party. I need to inquire more precisely.

Selling: I had that suggestion too. But I believe he is very attached to the house for sentimental reasons. The land was gifted by the aunts for the wedding, the house is in the neighborhood of HIS relatives, he built it up on his own, etc. The surrounding plots all belong to him. He categorically refuses. He also wanted to pay out his ex. But she refuses.

During the divorce, the ex grandiosely declared that the children were the most important thing for her and that’s why they wanted to keep the house as an inheritance for the children.

But since the divorce was finalized, she found a new man (which isn’t reprehensible) and the children have become unimportant. And that although the youngest is now 17 (so still a minor). He will be 18 in December....

The three children are now practically living alone in the house and more or less take care of the garden etc (in their apartment on the ground floor) and that’s why he doesn’t want to give it up, because then the children are supposed to live there.... (I would be of the opinion that they could also contribute financially if the mother doesn’t pay anything towards the loan. They both already work and their respective partners have also "moved in." The upper floor is occupied by his mother-in-law but unfortunately, daughter and mother are at daggers drawn.

The ex is employed and earns a reasonable amount. But she has always only spent the money on herself.... (she has never contributed to any costs, according to his statement, her money went on her clothes and decorative items) so theoretically she could be liquid. She also receives child support for the youngest, who unfortunately doesn’t see anything of it. Roughly, she probably has 2000 net per month in her pocket.

Property value: it was estimated (three years ago) at about 300,000 euros but probably won’t find a buyer for that price (due to the geographical location).

Update:
he spoke with the bank this afternoon, the responsible gentleman showed him 3 options:

1. demand payment through a lawyer

2. stop payment and hope the other party "wakes up", if not -> foreclosure

3. separate the construction loan, it might possibly work since there is a notarized deed. Tomorrow the responsible SH regional representative will be in the office and the matter will be presented....

he has now arranged an appointment with the children over the weekend. Maybe they can talk to the mother. but she has (even at the divorce) adopted an ostrich tactic (or maybe she always was like that)

Oh dear, that sounds like a lot of emotion, you are affected yourself but on the other hand "only" an outsider. It will also depend on which path your partner chooses so that this can finally settle down.

demand payment through a lawyer

...unfortunately something like that has no different effect than if you yourself as a private person would write it; the only difference is that lawyer letters cost money.

I would still first ask the notary who drew up exactly this contract; he knows the details and backgrounds of the contract he himself drafted and might only cost a phone call; after all, you were his "clients."

he has now made an appointment with the children over the weekend. Maybe they can put some pressure on the mother.

Oh dear.....I don't think that solution is good at all, the children are already doing badly enough in such matters. Even if the mother might be "wrong," it is difficult and in my opinion not okay at all to ask her to do something that doesn't concern her in the slightest, namely the former marriage of her parents.

I will definitely suggest the notary to him again.
Yes, I think the children are still the only option. Back then during the divorce he wanted to completely keep them out of it. That didn’t work either. I believe he wouldn’t be divorced to this day if the children hadn’t spoken a "final word". This woman suppresses everything around her. It simply doesn’t exist for her....

Ok, you seem to be the only instance that might POSSIBLY approach the matter somewhat objectively. Therefore, I URGE you to take the path to a lawyer. Yes, that really costs money. But: the lawyer sees the whole thing purely legally and objectively. The lawyer points out which ways there are and which ways are also realistic. For that, I would rather call sooner rather than later and also have all documents including the land register extract ready, so that all information can be presented to the lawyer, if he asks. Currently, it is an absolute guessing game for you without any real background. So get off your butt and don’t shy away from the process. An initial consultation doesn’t cost the earth. The separation of the financing will only work with the ex’s consent. And I see that as a bit doubtful.

Everything there is pretty emotionally charged, which I can understand. I wouldn’t have a perfect solution; I’d probably be set on "I’ll show the old lady." I can only recommend to you, dear Grillhendl, _not_ to get involved in this. If you influence something that ends up a mess or your partner says after 1-2 years – what nonsense – it will backfire on you. They should settle that among themselves. That belongs to his past; he should handle it himself. You have nothing to do with it – relationship or not. You can comfort and be a listener, I wouldn’t do more than that. But that’s just my opinion.