Don’t get too upset . No one knows what is right and above all, there is no "right". In such a situation, everyone suffers damage, some more financially and others emotionally, etc. No one has ever experienced exactly the same thing and the actors and involved persons are different and feel differently. What I wrote to you does not come from the belief that I am smarter than anyone else, but from what I myself or people close to me have experienced and what has developed over time and with increasing distance for those involved. There is the technical way: money, lawyer, enforcement measures, and this can be financially successful. There is the other way, for example as described by , which may not financially achieve what one personally considers fair, but which can be more bearable for both sides in the long run. But nobody really knows, and the children are different and feel and perceive this burden in different ways. In my opinion, that is the greatest danger, which I would not want to take!!! It is clear that such conflicts never end as long as these bonds exist. A sale would also end this "bond," but one wants to avoid that at all costs and thus (perhaps subconsciously) keeps the bond alive. As soon as one problem is somehow solved legally, the next one is dug up. Apparently, it is not an existing problem but one deliberately created to compensate for an injury, so one problem simply follows the next and then you go back to the lawyer... And , since your partner pays maintenance to the ex-wife instead of the children, which is not appropriate for adult children AND he has already reduced child support, he will rightly have to face accusations. No side is free of mistakes here; each side should make that clear to themselves; then it could become easier. Unfortunately, one often only realizes that years later... really a pity about the time!