Planning house construction and considering the desire for children

I have great respect for so much courage. I mean that absolutely seriously. However, that wouldn’t be anything for us. When we were looking for a new apartment, we visited some unfamiliar apartments during our viewing tour with young families, and I found it shocking in what chaotic conditions some of them live (have to live). Sofa bed in the living room, small and completely cluttered children’s rooms, changing table in the middle of the hallway, shoes and toys scattered everywhere, etc. We vowed never to want to live with children in a rental apartment. Children grow older and then quickly need more space. But at the moment, it’s not so easy to quickly find something new in the desired location. Furthermore, I am not a fan of changing kindergartens and schools, which are often inevitable when moving from a rental apartment to a family home. I had to experience that enough as a child myself and it didn’t do me any good. I’d like to spare my child that.

Let's talk when you have kids whether everything in the house is still nice and sterile

I would like to clarify this because that is not what I mean by "planning security." I understand that as the foundation on which one can confidently start a family. In plain language: completed education, both with permanent contracts, a sufficient income, and last but not least the firm inner conviction to be ready for such a task. For some, this is already the case in their early twenties, for us only in our early/mid-thirties, and for some even later. Everything else, like a quick pregnancy, the child’s health condition and development, can indeed hardly be influenced; you have to take it as it comes.

The life paths of my wife and myself have been rather unstable (studies, long-distance relationship, job changes, fixed-term contracts, an employer’s insolvency, knee surgery, etc.); in short, only recently have we actually been in a position to have a clear head for the topics of children or building a house. I am firmly convinced that given the often high professional demands nowadays, one should not have too many open construction sites in one’s life at the same time if one wants to maintain physical and mental health. And therefore the decision: first building a house, then family planning.

We know the local discussion all too well from our circle of relatives and friends, and it is always the same: Those who were taken on directly after training and quickly equipped with great jobs in their big companies naturally start by their late twenties at the latest and cannot understand how someone at 31 or 32 can still be working on stabilizing their life. But that just is a reality.

You, your house can be as big as it wants and the children's rooms endless. Children endlessly make a mess and smear their little hands everywhere, spit out food, have chocolate fingers, spread cookies in every possible corner. You have to clean up every day. Several times.