Planning house construction and considering the desire for children

  • Erstellt am 2019-03-11 15:44:21

hampshire

2019-03-13 17:09:14
  • #1
Our motto was always: We feed whatever comes. Two came.
 

Kekse

2019-03-13 18:43:50
  • #2
We have and are building for two children* but at the moment I don't want to rule out that there might be a third. That one either won't have its own room or we'll have to sacrifice our home office and improvise something with the desks. That will work itself out. The problem with the empty children's rooms is, imo, not so much that you can't do anything with them but rather that you can't bring yourself to actually do it. Then it's not the hobby room but remains the unused children's room that reminds you daily of the painful, absent child. When you eventually make your peace with the missing child, the room can no longer affect you (and finally become a train room instead of a provisional junk room – because after all, it might still work out).
*sah lange nicht so aus, als könnten wir welche haben
 

Jean-Marc

2019-03-13 20:24:39
  • #3
We are both 35 years old and deliberately childless – precisely because we are still missing the house ([Errichtung im September]). For us, it was out of the question to build with a child in tow. On the one hand, we want to have two incomes available during the initial phase of financing, and on the other hand, the house construction will demand everything from both of us; every free hand and minute will be needed, and a child would (still) be in the way.

We accept the risk that starting a family at 36/37 years old might require "more attempts" than at 26/27 years old. As a human resources officer, I now know enough colleagues who have easily become mothers with healthy children at 41 or 42 years old. The same goes for my sister-in-law. That at least gives hope.
If, despite everything modern medicine has to offer, it should not work out for us, we would probably just have to accept it. But I can still worry enough about that later. Not before.
 

blaupuma

2019-03-13 20:40:09
  • #4
I can only advise everyone to build before having children. I am 31 and have 2 daughters 3 years and 8 months. We are moving in next month. It was already a challenge to plan everything with the little kids. My wife was sometimes close to burnout. But everything is always individual. We built a turnkey house and my wife is on parental leave. Nevertheless, it was very demanding. A buddy is now starting to build next to me. He is doing 80% alone despite a full-time job and a 1-year-old daughter. I am curious.
 

haydee

2019-03-13 20:44:16
  • #5
So building with a general contractor is possible with a child.
Mine was just 2 when we moved in.
Still, I was on the construction site at least twice a day. In the morning before work and in the evening when the little one was asleep.

Own work is difficult.
 

HilfeHilfe

2019-03-13 20:51:37
  • #6

Well, cheers and strong nerves. It’s getting worse and worse having children late. I’m 39 and glad both are past the worst. The youngest will be 4.
 

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