Terrace wall to the neighbor - What should we consider?

What should I do?

intellectually: Put yourself in the position of a middle house resident, where a few centimeters of wall height influence the lighting conditions in the living room. That's how it is. We lived for 18 years in a terraced middle house. These are already dark because there are no side windows and the format is usually narrow and deep.

situationally: Understand that neighborhood in a terraced housing estate means closer living together despite having your own front door.

logically: Acknowledge that if you want peace, you must eventually give peace as well.

goal-oriented: Build your own terrace not higher, but somewhat lower than the neighbor’s. Then the wall on your side will also be higher.

and listen to music:

"Ah, you can't always get what you want, no, no, baby You can't always get what you want, you can't now, now You can't always get what you want But if you try sometimes you just might find You just might find that you You get what you need, oh yeah Ah yeah, do that"

You want another terrace roof. Hopefully not on the boundary then. ;)

intellectual: Put yourself in the position of a middle house resident, where just a few centimeters of wall height influence the lighting conditions in the living room. That's how it is. We lived 18 years in a terraced middle house. These are already dark anyway, since there are no side windows and the format is usually narrow and deep.

Situational: Understand that neighborhood in a terraced housing estate means closer coexistence despite your own front door.

Logical: Acknowledge that if you want peace, you must at some point also give peace.

Goal-oriented: Build your own terrace not higher, but somewhat lower than the neighbor’s. Then the wall on your side will also be higher.

and listen to music:

"Ah, you can't always get what you want, no, no, baby
You can't always get what you want, you can't now, now
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find that you
You get what you need, oh yeah
Ah yeah, do that"

Now the good neighbor came, wants 5 cm higher because he doesn’t know what he bought for the wall, wants to stick it on his side, and it is 185 cm high!!! He said it was agreed at 185, so the wall should be higher now.... He only thought of this when his Temu wall poster arrived, where exactly those few centimeters seem to be missing. I don’t care, as long as it’s solved.

I can’t build the terrace lower. It will be flush with the window. I have different windows than the neighbor. It’s a few centimeters difference, not much, but mine will be higher.

So the wall height is solved, especially also because the other neighbor (Schmidt) told him his mind, that actually he also wants 2 m, but 185 cm is the limit.

Now to the next drama:

It was agreed that stone would be on top, somewhat pointed at the top so that rainwater can run off. I asked if a simple sheet metal could be put on it, neighbor Müller said no, he doesn’t want that, it would look so bad on our balcony. (I have a corner house and have a balcony with anthracite sheet metal on it). I find it nice if it fulfills its function. He wanted stone, neighbor Schmidt too, my husband too. It was agreed on stone. With all the escalation, Müller has now gotten into his head that he wants to support something on the wall to close it off. Don’t ask me how and what, he already has a terrace roof, but it is not that long and ends 50 cm before the wall. In any case, he now definitely wants sheet metal so that it is flat and he can support something on it.

What nobody mentions here is that the three of us (all three affected neighbors) should sit together and agree on something, and he changes things at whim in the middle and does not keep his word.

Besides, I also wanted sheet metal because I only know sheet metal.

My question, what would be the most sensible construction solution? What is correct and good? Does it even matter if it’s sheet metal or stone?

The mason said it has to be stone, is that true? In my neighborhood, in the picture, some also have something flat on top like sheet metal. The stone that the mason wants to put on is like the house peak, slightly pointed in the middle so that rainwater drains.

If it doesn’t make a difference, I just want to take what the neighbor wants, I don’t know about this. I only want to insist on stone if it is clearly the better choice for the protection of the wall or for structural reasons. You really can’t see the stone on top, really, whether sheet metal or stone actually doesn’t matter to me.

And is he allowed to support something on the wall or on top of the wall? Sticking things on his side doesn’t really bother me, it’s his side, his wall, he can stick, paint however and whatever he wants as long as it doesn’t damage the wall. That’s none of my business, but something he wants to support on top of it worries me a bit.

Oh yes, on the subject of middle houses that someone wrote earlier, if I buy a middle house, I have to know that there are no windows on the side and the walls and fences come from both sides, then I have to be ready either to pay more for a corner house or to build detached somewhere else.

As I said, I have a corner house and paid more for it, therefore I have more light and more windows. I also pay more for that all my life.

It is also not about enclosing the neighbors, but about reducing smoke and barbecue smell and sitting quietly on the terrace, we have small children, so at least noise does not carry over on the terrace. Also for privacy and visual protection. Furthermore, the neighbor's house is 7.30 m wide, the terrace as well, so it’s not cramped. My parents only have 5 m and it’s closed on both sides, it’s really nice and pleasant for everyone.

what would be the most sensible solution

Stone, because then the wall will be higher. Both work equally well. Although… aluminum and slope towards his side (somewhere the rain has to be drained) is not bad either…

And is he allowed to lean on the wall, or rest something on the wall? Sticking things on his side I actually don't care at all, it's his side, his wall, he can stick and paint whatever and however he wants, as long as it doesn't harm the wall.

He can do whatever he wants on his side. Of course, nothing goes on top of the aluminum – at most put a flower pot on it. I don't understand the "leaning"?

but to reduce the smoke and grill smell and to sit quietly on the terrace,

Then you need another house. The wall doesn't help much.

So the neighbor has now paid,

....seems to be quite a nice guy after all. And.....please write in plain German without trying so hard to make it sound "different." You can do it, as anyone can easily see who knows even a little about such topics. Tip from an amateur: Never let yourself be persuaded to jointly buy a Cossack tail, there is a threat to your life.

Oh, writing with readable sentences is happening.. I read some posts yesterday and have to say that this is not a given with you.

Is that actually the neighbor who, among other things, helped you with airing out and informed you? I read something about helpful neighborhood (my interpretation) during the construction.

As I said, I have a corner house and paid a bit more, but in return I have more light and more windows. I also pay more for that my whole life.

But that does not give you more rights. You pay more for square meters of living space, windows, and land, but not because you have more rights or the one in the middle has to feel shabby.

Here is a picture from the neighborhood where the wall under the floor reaches, i.e. clearly over 180cm. I would have to look again, my husband just sent it to me, whether it is 2m or 220, I am not sure. And where is the problem there as a middle house?

Then also look at how the lawn is laid out there, namely as a communal area. Therefore, this type of row house is probably a different form of living – probably condos divided according to the WEG or something like that. That’s comparing apples and oranges! You finally read your rules from RP yourself, so why talk about local custom now?

My question is, what would be the most sensible solution technically? What is right and good? Does it even matter whether sheet metal or stone?

Stone. And then in such a way that you can put a flowerpot there by arrangement. Sheet metal is just sheet metal, it is thin and could even resonate.