Cultivation Planning / Change

I wouldn't force my parents into the upstairs either, if they earned the house their whole lives and also financed my education with their sweat. They have surely been living there for a while and have a feeling of home. This is not a question of practicality or an easy solution. This is a matter of decency and respect. And I fully agree with OP and wouldn't keep dwelling on it forever now.

Can only agree with apokolok: You have drawn red lines in such a way that all economically and/or ergonomically sensible solutions have to be rejected. What remains are emergency solutions that can’t make anyone happy for long.

You correctly recognized that some compromises always have to be made – so the question is not if, but which ones.

Of course, looking at your already existing space conditions, the A-plan is to bring the parents upstairs and use the already available, larger space below with the children. They can still climb stairs for now and for later there are technical aids that cost only a tiny fraction of what you would have to invest for other alternatives. By far the most economically sensible and also ergonomically acceptable solution.

Now according to your statement "parents downstairs" is a sacred cow that must not be slaughtered. Let’s accept that as a given, then the next best solution is what Nofret proposed in #10: extension + parents’ bedroom downstairs. This in such a way that the parents’ bedroom only moves downstairs when the children reach a certain age, until then a shared children’s room. This is a very good ergonomic solution and economically the second best.

Now "everything must be on one level" is, according to you, the next sacred cow that also must not be slaughtered. And bam, with that the two solutions that would work well and be feasible in the old house are gone.

What remains now is a mix of bad and even worse solutions – up to the idea of covering a conservatory with pillars. And all because of the two sacred cows mentioned above? Seriously?

Personally, I would implement apokolok’s suggestion and swap the apartments.

In your case, I see the chance for that as so low that I urgently want to recommend Nofret’s suggestion from #10 again. Convene a family council and make very clear (!) that in your situation some kind of death must be faced and certainly the least painful would be this one.

You say all the essential things yourself about your "forward-looking" future planning:

The point about resale value is of course also interesting. [...] then I suppose we’ll live in it for life anyway.

And in the end your children inherit a difficult-to-sell huge box with backlog of renovations? The two above-mentioned sacred cows seriously make you consider something absurd like that?

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Another point: Can the necessary permits even be obtained for the project?

The extension as planned should, according to the architect, be approved without any problems. Everything else is just thoughts so far.

Ok, let's take option 1: swap the apartments - viewed very objectively without emotions.

Consequences:
- On the ground floor, 2 rooms are missing, it needs to be remodeled - here the old building is still quite "old-fashioned" - no underfloor heating or similar - the bathroom is also 20 years old
- On the upper floor, major remodeling is necessary - at least the bathroom where it is currently located is not suitable for elderly-friendly remodeling, so it has to be moved elsewhere - a balcony for smoking is also absolutely required then, and it must not be built on the sides (fire safety regulations, has already been applied for and rejected)
- A lift must be planned for or already installed in the stairwell

Whether the effort and costs are really more economical than the extension, I cannot judge, I cannot imagine the costs for such conversions. The fact is, in the old ground floor you could probably still go wild without breaking anything that has just been newly installed - except for the flooring. But whether you can and want to tear down load-bearing walls there... unclear.

One thought that no one has had so far (not even us): the old building has a basement. There is exactly the same room layout as on the other floors, except for what is marked as "WC" in the upper floor, i.e. the small little room - that is not in the basement, instead the room to the left of it is wider.

Problem here: There is a bunch of stuff in there. Even if you cleaned out extremely heavily, you would not get one whole room completely empty. There are tools, washing machines, dryers, heaters, freezers, and lots of stuff that you only need once a year (decorations, ladders, scaffolding,...)

That would have to go somewhere - back then the extension should have been built with a basement... I don’t see a solution here. Or a huge shed in the garden - looks terrible, would probably only be built illegally, and costs money too.

However, there is space, which is also there, which could be renovated and remodeled, and which would offer absolutely no restrictions (except structural). Oh, and the inventory would have to go somewhere else.

On the other hand, bedroom, children’s room and bathroom in the basement, and the rest of the apartment on the upper floor - doesn’t sound very appealing either. And that will cost a pretty penny too...

These are thoughts that could really be intensified. Maybe then the parents wouldn’t have to be moved upstairs...

Option 2 - only the bedroom in the ground floor - I really can’t get used to that... Who wants to sleep wall-to-wall with their own parents... and that would just be the case there - and we would also have no bathroom near the bedroom.

I just got an idea....

Just install a stair lift in the stairwell (you know what I mean?). Then the age of the parents combined with the upper floor is no longer an issue and you just swap the floors *period*

It might cost you around 10k€ and that's it.

...and one more thing, ask your parents if they even want you to go into another 200-250k€ of debt. My parents would think I’m crazy if I told them I want/have to incur another 250k€ of debt because of you.

Just install a stairlift in the stairwell (you know what I mean?). Then the age of the parents combined with the upper floor is no longer an issue and you swap the floors *period*

It might cost you about €10k and that’s it.

But the chain smoker wants an "outdoor facility"... and apparently that’s not possible upstairs.

But the chain smoker demands an "outdoor facility"... and that probably won't work upstairs.

I know that this was stated somewhere, but if that's the "next sacred cow," it would be downright ridiculous.

Then one of the "former" children's rooms (upstairs) is just a smoking room or simply a steel frame balcony for 10k€ as a substitute for outdoor facilities. You don't necessarily have to build a room below directly for a balcony upstairs.

Then you'll be out a total of 20k€ or, if you will, even 25k€ and everyone is happy.