Cost calculation - We are curious about your feedback

Additionally: In my opinion, it is often forgotten that a baseboard can significantly impact the costs when it comes to floor coverings.

Otherwise: When tiles flow, they are no longer tiles. SCNR

Yes, forgotten and noted.

Something different:
How does one come to voluntarily and gladly insulate with ETICS?
I have a house with this insulation myself but would definitely avoid this stuff after intensive research not only in this forum and with a bit more budget.
I would definitely build monolithically to avoid later trouble with the exterior plaster or renewal. Besides, the risk of ending up with a bumpy exterior plaster due to the insulating panels is very high. I would invest the money for this 40+ stuff into the masonry.

Difficult topic and I would rather not discuss it here, so I don’t drift off. Therefore, only briefly, otherwise gladly in another topic or private. I think you can’t say what’s right or wrong, it depends on personal requirements. To put it harshly, monolithic is total nonsense, because what is the stone supposed to do now? Carry or insulate? In the past, there were also washing machines with integrated dryers until it was realized that they are no good. That’s why we use sand-lime brick as the stone (interior walls are already load-bearing with 11.5 cm) and ETICS which do what they can, insulate. As I said, to put it harshly. A monolithic construction has its advantages and ETICS have their disadvantages. No question. But sound insulation is also important to us and nothing comes close to sand-lime brick. For me, Ytong with 35/36 dB with 11.5 cm is simply out. Normal sand-lime brick achieves 46 dB here and no, I don’t want to start a discussion in THIS thread about why sound insulation should be so good.

Water / wastewater should be calculated with a factor of three, depending on the distance.

For us, drainage alone was 7k...

Yes, we will only learn the exact costs later and therefore we definitely want to have a sufficient buffer.

As said, KfW40+ is not a must, but we want to see if it’s worth it, since we want sand-lime brick + ETICS, thermally insulated ground slab, etc. With this rough setup, we want to shed more light into the dark. There are also still talks with energy consultants, etc., but if you go in there without good prior information, you won’t be much wiser in the end.
For this reason, thank you very much for the suggestions, remarks, etc. Everything has been diligently noted and influences our path.

A monolithic construction method also has its advantages and an ETICS its disadvantages. No question.

That's right. And whoever can, builds double-shell.

That's right. And whoever can, builds double-layered.

Yes, we also had a conversation with an energy consultant recently and he said that the type of insulation will be decided later and that a double-layered variant would also be possible. From your statement, however, I gather that this method is more expensive, and looking at the construction, I can understand that. Although I save some insulation material, I have to build the wall twice, and I can't imagine that the costs here would be the same or lower. Or am I mistaken? Alternatively, it would be possible to fill the cavity with loose granulate, but is that done in new builds?

What currently also puzzles us greatly is that many claim we should budget at least 50k more, as some items seem underestimated. On the other hand, it is also said that one should calculate 2,000€ to 2,500€ per sqm. For 200 sqm, that would be 400k-500k. The energy consultant has now quoted exactly our estimated costs for the trades he knows, and otherwise the items match. Of course, you need a buffer, but 50-100k?

I will try to justify it differently

Why should your 200sqm KfW 40+ house cost only €40k more (with much better equipment) than my small KfW 55 house with 200sqm (of which 66sqm is usable basement)?

Besides, you have not included the outdoor facilities in your calculation. I know, these do not belong in the pure construction costs. But you should reckon with €20-30k. That is an amount that cannot easily be paid from the regular salary. At least not for me.