Construction project and building permit feasible?

Basically, it doesn’t just stay at a rate of €1200, monthly incidental costs for a single-family house are on average another €400, roughly speaking.

That is correct. But we have been keeping the household budget book for some time now. The expenses are really set quite high. So that makes a surplus of €1500 based on the calculation with the lowest conceivable income + €1252, which come from rent, so €2752 = €1200 rate - €400 incidental costs = surplus for vacation/anything/special repayments of €1100 per month. Or am I making a mistake in my thinking?

That is correct. But we have been keeping the household budget for a longer time. The expenses are really set high. So that makes €1500 surplus in the calculation with the lowest conceivable income + €1252 that come from rent so €2752 = €1200 installment - €400 ancillary costs = surplus for vacation/anything/special repayment of €1100 per month. Or am I making a mistake in my thinking?

Which household income are you assuming? From 2021 or now without BAföG and co.? The bank is not interested in 2021! October, if you were to apply now, wouldn't be either. But you know that.

Well, to summarize: a new build is currently not possible. For the future, one should consider that 130m² on a plot costs not 300,000€ all-in but 400,000€, for 60-100,000€. One should also consider that 130m² without a basement is too small for 5 people; it should be 150-160m². Accordingly, add another ~50,000€ to the budget. This can be done with a salary of maybe 5k, but without equity it is not without risk. If you want to have something of your own soon and with planning security, take another look at existing properties. If there is something affordable now, you might already be able to afford it. The necessary renovations/changes can be done step by step when the money is available.

I built as a single woman with two children, the bank had no problems with that because there is no man in the house...

I would think you can calmly start with the "market observation". Look at plots of land, concretize ideas. Save on the side. When the time comes, the net income has to be right, meaning what you then earn counts.

I wouldn’t get upset about the cash car purchase on the side. Otherwise, it just stands as another liability on your list. That way you are debt-free.

I built as a single woman with two children, the bank had no problems with that because there is no man in the house...

I would think you can start with the "market observation" already. Look at plots of land, concretize ideas. Save on the side. When the time comes, the net income must fit, i.e. what you earn then counts.

I wouldn’t be upset about the cash car purchase on the side. Otherwise, it just stands as another liability on your list. That way you are debt-free.

Apples and oranges

How high was your income and how high was the loan?

Currently, the family has too little sustainable income. The future is also vague. 3 children planned along with parental allowance etc. etc.

Therefore, we (unfortunately) paid cash for our new car in May 19. (€34,000, saved in 3 years). We thought whether paying installments now and saving less or putting more aside would be the same over the period. Of course, in terms of equity, it turned out to be more than stupid in such a short time - but it doesn't help, I count it as "learning from mistakes".

that was not a mistake. A mistake would be constantly buying on credit. That weakens the overview and the budget. But that is my personal opinion.

Does it really take that long to get a building permit?

But I want to get out of here as soon as possible.

If construction starts in spring 2021 at the earliest, then so be it.

I briefly had the dream that one might still get a building permit by the end of 2020 and then possibly start building a few months later. With €24,000, your eyes certainly do light up.

So, a building permit has something to do with the house designed on the purchased plot. All that takes time. Searching, weighing options, financing, buying. Then have it planned, then building application, then building permit. One month later you can start building, if the builder has time. When reading, it seems as if you are talking about a document that is quickly applied for.

Well, in summary, one can say: a new build is currently not possible. For the future, one should consider that 130m² on a plot for €60,000-100,000 is not €300,000 all-in cost but €400,000.

For the future, one should also consider that small children become more expensive, then no more €9 sports clubs, then there are completely different costs. Also not to forget the additional building costs and the whole calculation package .. here the standard house for €200,000 is just one of many.

I believe that right now way too many emotions are boiling up, which make you quite uncompromising regarding housing choice.

Just start searching. Nevertheless, of course you will also come across bargain offers that you should not fall for now. Especially since you are "in a bit of a hurry". Calculate how much will be available to you in 2-3 years. And compare that to financing without Baukindergeld of €400,000. Consider that you have €400/month for additional costs.