Please differentiate, it was not my post but that of another user which I justified from my point of view. The purpose for me was to shake things up through exaggeration that the salary is clearly too low, that is okay as a stylistic device, you shouldn’t react overly sensitive to that, my opinion.
Sorry, I mixed that up when quoting.
I see that differently. Especially in a partnership I consider myself as a team with my partner. If you’re not even allowed to discuss such fundamental things there, then with whom else? If that causes domestic tension, one should question it.
Sure, we do discuss such things. Personally, I would only work for his employer if the alternative was unemployment and I have discussed this with him often enough. From “Just talk to your boss, give a number and justify it based on your tasks” to “Why are you giving away your life time?” (when the overtime account had filled up again..) to “Why are you doing all these tasks, that’s not your job, you’re not paid for that?!” We can talk, definitely. But I simply have no right to demand what HE should do with HIS job. Nobody would like that and for me that has nothing to do with being a team. Therefore, as I already wrote, I mind my own business.
Having children is a private matter – this applies equally to the attitudes “we want some” and “we don’t want any.” This also means: just as a woman is allowed to lie without blushing in a job interview “no, my desire to have children is dutifully frozen until it no longer disturbs the company,” one may also wax lyrical about nieces and nephews, who unfortunately live too far away but are so cute, “so that we want kids too, hopefully it will work for us a bit faster.” If you want cream, you have to shake the cows – meaning figuratively: if you want grandkids, you have to “sing along” with the sellers’ grandchild dreams. At least you shouldn’t just brusquely throw the romantic images in the sellers’ mind’s cinemas into the trash.
I keep that in mind. Maybe I overreacted a little earlier... as a childless woman my age, I feel like I get asked this question about having children more often than anything else. Somehow it gives the impression that there is nothing else relevant in life.
I want to point out again that I am very grateful for all the tips and ways of thinking here. This forum post is also a bit of “thinking out loud” for me. Sometimes I just need to organize my thoughts and get some input – paper is patient (friends and family maybe not so much eventually, at least not on topics that affect those involved daily).