Paying "rent" to the partner... how?

After cautiously feeling things out, he is unfortunately now arguing in the direction of: You would have to pay rent anyway. It remains exciting.

Keep us updated – what amounts did he have in mind (relative to the installment/compared to a reasonable rental apartment or similar)? There is consensus that a certain amount may already flow.

Since there is no concrete property yet, we cannot yet play with concrete numbers. I will definitely not use a comparable rent in the Stuttgart surrounding area, because I would not live there if it weren't for him and I consider that totally disproportionate. Plus the necessary car, which I do not have/need now, etc.

I think I could live with something like €500-600 all in. If then the "depreciation costs" (i.e. everything beyond interest and ancillary costs) are also used specifically for renovations or something like that and not simply flow into his repayment.

That will be difficult with the Zweggebundenheit.

I think I could live with about 500€-600€ all in. If the "wear and tear costs" (so everything beyond interest and ancillary costs) are also earmarked for renovations or something like that

It will be difficult with a new build, as nothing will need to be renewed in the first 10-20 years. You have a really sweet partner who wants to dig deep into your wallet. If it already comes to such money issues and he wants to profit from you...

It’s not about a new building.
What does it mean to reach deeply into your wallet... Interest costs €250, additional costs €150, depreciation €100, it’s not nice, but also not horrendous.
What is my alternative? To look for the perfect partner? Not move in there, long-distance relationship or still pay more rent together? Insisting on paying only €400 and ending the relationship because of it (and then paying more rent again)?
The last word hasn’t been spoken, but just as he gives up children for me, I might give up €100 a month for him.

He bears the risk, but it is his decision to bear this risk alone. If he would have bought the same property anyway, whether with or without me, I would not move in, he would bear this risk alone just the same. So actually any payments on my part are pure profit for him, because I do not increase the risk. I only increase the ancillary costs for electricity, water, and garbage, nothing more.

Of course he would have to bear everything alone if he lives alone. Just like you would have to maintain a rental apartment alone if you lived alone. You both benefit from the deal.

By the way, you also increase the wear and tear and sooner or later you will want to have a say in what happens in the house, after all, you live there and are not just a guest with a drawer.

But what still amazes me is this balancing out. He has this, I get that. Or that you wouldn’t even live in Stuttgart if he didn’t want to go there, therefore you would have to use lower (comparable) rents as a reference. Why don’t you grant each other the advantages of living together? I find that incredibly odd, but I don’t want to judge your relationship. That’s up to you.