Paying "rent" to the partner... how?

Ideally, it is our shared life and our home, even if the house does not legally belong to me.

... and if it goes badly, after 20 years you are the fool. I was once young too and believed in love and the good in people... ... until real life hit back...

The calculation “alone I would live more expensively” does not hold: HE too! And above all both: ALONE.

Rent without land register would be a no-go for me. Half living expenses, half interest, gladly splurging occasionally on individual expenses: that’s it. Everything else is constantly throwing money into a piggy bank that doesn’t belong to you. And you can’t even expect thanks for it if the mother-in-law in the background espouses some obscure opinion.

If rent, then land register; if no land register, then no rent. YOU have to/can build up assets with the savings on housing costs that he already has through his own housing costs. Otherwise, in the end you will have lost a lot of money.

No, only one month (or 3 or x) notice period to look for something new for myself.

I guess you will start looking for an apartment early enough. Thoughts of separation don’t just happen instantly, but are usually planned a bit longer.

Yes, it’s about a fair division of costs that also considers the future (keyword asset building).

He builds assets, you finance your consumption.

Well, one could say: I 300 € plus whatever I would otherwise have to pay more in rent. If I lived alone: Rent 600 Utilities 100 Groceries 300 Asset building 300 Total 1300 With him: Utilities 300 Groceries 400 Asset building possible: 600

Do you live with him just so you can live cheaper than alone?

Ideally, it is our life together and our home, even if the house is not legally mine on paper.

Following your thoughts, I don’t see an “our home,” I see a shared-use arrangement from which one can quickly break free if things don’t run smoothly anymore and/or tastes change.

Oh, I make a science out of it... I have Excel sheets, ... for fun down to the cent, I calculate a hundred variants, I look at what benefits whom, but that hardly has much to do with real life.

Precisely for that reason: your tables probably have little to do with real life. Don’t get me wrong: do your thing. Nevertheless, in my opinion, what you’re planning has only a calculating character. By the way, in the parallel topic she contributes to the financing as well. At least that’s how it is planned.

Oh guys, it's slightly frustrating when you twist my words. First, I'm too precise, then I'm the stupid one, now I'm even calculating. Then you tell me instructive things that I myself brought up two posts earlier (and repeatedly). That's not how a discussion works. Anyway, I'll just try to take from your posts what I can.

BY THE WAY, WE have nothing planned at all, because WE haven't talked further about it yet and I am just gathering opinions and exchanging thoughts here.

If he didn't buy property, we would both move into a shared rental apartment/house.

He wants to buy alone because he experienced a bitter divorce. I don't want to buy at all because I simply couldn't. Should I now not move in with him just because the property would then be his, instead of the landlord's?

In the neighboring thread, she is financing it, but pays nothing at all, that's how I understood it.

If you want to be very precise:
- 1/2 interest
- 1/2 additional costs
- 1/2 reserve (basically the compensation for living off)

In my opinion, living expenses have nothing to do with this again. If you are already such a pedant, you should really only bill the housing.
For food and co., you can set up a separate household fund.

For me, this describes a shared flat rather than a long-term partnership, but that is probably very individual.
I also find the approach of discussing the topic first in the forum and then with the partner somewhat 'peculiar'.

I guess I'm old-fashioned: in for a penny, in for a pound. We also had a brief discussion that my husband shouldn't be included in the land register because he can't contribute as much to the repayment as I can. I dismissed that. At the time, we were a couple and we're approaching this as a couple. If we separate in a few years, then so be it, and it will be divided fairly. So let's assume we separate after 10 years, then he sells his half to me. In other words, he gets more money back than he put in because I took on significantly more.

That's what I would also recommend to you. Get involved in the land register, contribute to the repayment to the extent that you can. Just live together and don't keep track of every euro. If separation does come, you'll benefit from it and your partner will have paid you out promptly. You will have done something for your wealth formation and ultimately helped him get started in the house.