If nowadays you can manage something as complex as autonomous driving via software, then an intelligent planning software is no rocket science either.
It definitely is not ... that would already be possible
That's intense. Is there no cheaper software that would meet my criteria mentioned above?
But that's simply not compatible ... You apparently have absolutely no idea what lies behind software development and how elaborate it is for your example autonomous driving. How much of the purchase price of your car you pay for it and how many millions or billions of units the automakers can spread this software effort and cost over.
A 3D rendering on a PC screen is also not comparable to a physical sample; maybe you would be better satisfied with VR, but you won't get a 'feel'. VR is becoming more common, but it isn't available for €20 from ama**n, which is probably the reason why no one bothers with it for a little experimenting with house planning.
But parts of it you can map with DiaLux, HomeSweet3D or similar. However, that requires patience and time to learn. Otherwise, you'll probably end up going back to the architect or similar ... And there are no completely fixed rules about what you are allowed and not allowed to do, regarding water etc., with enough effort almost everything is possible. Bypassing the effort through clever solutions will likely be difficult for you as a layman, which again falls back to the architect or expert. (You almost get the feeling these professions have a reason to exist.)
The more you engage professionally with the subject areas and get into it, the more you can understand, join the conversation, and make meaningful decisions. But you won't find a clicky-colorful solution with which you can plan a house without having background knowledge, not now and not in the future.