Is the financing volume for our construction project realistic?

It always makes me very skeptical when someone whose profession is "managing director" asks third parties for an assessment of (his) (admittedly biggest) private investment. How do you make decisions in your professional life?
[...]
My tip would be: less land (possibly split into two or three plots) and leave out the luxury pool for now (you can still treat yourself to it in a few years).
[...]
A small example from our single-family house planning. Just in the last 4 weeks, deviating from the original budgeting, we decided on the following upgrades:
[...]
- Dornbracht fittings in all bathrooms (+15k).

I don’t see any contradiction there, even as a managing director I am not, by virtue of the title on my business card, smarter or more knowledgeable than others. Like everyone, I make decisions based on experience from my previous professional life and if I have little or no knowledge on a particular topic, I get informed or obtain external expertise. The difference from work is simply that we have never built a house before; my parents’ house build was 30 years ago. In such a forum there is a lot of expertise that I can only learn from, whether I am a managing director or a low earner. Nowadays, a lot is done on credit and at the expense of the future, so I would find it difficult to dive into an adventure completely carefree without thinking about the amounts, the long-term impacts, and consequences. Even if the total volume was only 500,000 or 700,000 euros. It remains probably the biggest investment of our lives, so I consider it almost necessary to think about it intensively.

The plot cannot be smaller, I would have been completely happy even with 1,000 m²; our size was unfortunately just the defined minimum size of the parcels, smaller was not allowed. The pool, as already mentioned, is an absolute candidate for removal if we do not feel comfortable with the cost framework. I didn’t know Dornbracht before, they really look great, but I would not budget 15,000 euros for them. Not because they don’t look beautiful and extremely high-quality, I personally would just set other priorities if the budget is limited.

I now mention in every initial meeting that I consider a preliminary selection necessary in order to get a better impression. However, almost all companies are very reserved about this; those with a selection center usually stall with vague references to Corona, while those with decentralized trading partners generally hesitate a bit. I have to keep on it.

In my opinion, the initial meeting is a bit too early and like using a sledgehammer to crack a nut. That’s more of a to-do for the time between the final floor plan and the final negotiation. If someone already wants my complete list of craftsmen in the first meeting, I would be skeptical too. But if Corona allows it, you should get started. In our case, the construction specifications described very precisely which bathroom fittings or switch programs are standard. That allows you to already visit bathroom showrooms and the like, and see how large the difference is to your desired bathtubs. The same goes for tiles and other flooring.

Our house only got about €23,800 more expensive for nice things (clinker brick, steel stringer staircase, loft door, front door, windows, electrical, ceiling spots, bathroom). In the bathroom, however, we held back quite a bit compared to the neighbors, so we only had to budget about €7,000 more. None of the neighbors got away with less than €10,000 for that. Technical necessities not included. Overall, our house became 10% more expensive, for which we had planned most of the amount as a financing buffer.

By the way, I would never expect a kitchen for €15,000 in this overall project. Plan at least €25,000, if not more! Just for fun, take your current designs to any random kitchen studio and get something planned. The result will surprise you! Perhaps you have experience from rental apartments, but in your own home you want something a bit more long-term, and some cost-intensive gimmicks come along with that.

The salary is simply explained, together with child benefits we earn 9,100 euros,

I already understand that, but I find it a bit strange to want to calculate partially with the 9,100€. Just assume 7,500€, with 3 children full-time work and career advancement no longer work - not for both. And with a project of over a million and a plot of 2,900 sqm, I see completely different considerations than career, I come. 7,500€ // 900,000€ I don’t see that as relaxed, if the ancillary costs include daycare costs for 3 children, and in the long term 3 children also want to be financially entertained.

that some make the financing look better by assuming 50% own contribution,

The bank makes sure that the own contributions don’t overextend the value.

I don't know if Musterings and kitchen etc. have to cause so much headache.

We informed ourselves well beforehand and so far no unplanned Musterings. You have it in your own hands anyway.

The same goes for the kitchen discussion. Our kitchen is fully planned and costs 11k. I am aware that you can spend much more, but our kitchen actually has everything we wanted. Carousel, pantry cabinet, Siemens appliances.

If I had a lot more money, I would probably also come up with more upgrades in some areas, but everyone can adjust that exactly to their budget.
As long as the income generally suffices for the planned house, the rest is influenceable.

I would only get a pool once the kids can swim anyway, and until then you also know much better how things are going financially.

Valid point. Everything is possible.

My experience with managing directors, however, is that they tend to orient themselves more towards an Audi A8 than the A6. Accordingly, I assume a certain level of expectation regarding appearance and feel + prestige. You can definitely keep the costs under control at "Golf level." A Golf is a great car – I have one too. I assume that a Golf is not sufficient for the managing director.

The equation is simple: It will be more expensive!

I don't see any contradiction there; even as a managing director, I am not smarter or more knowledgeable than others just by the title on my business card. Like everyone else, I make decisions based on experience from my previous professional life, and if I have none or too little on a particular topic, I inform myself or seek external expertise.

I find that very likable! But it’s certainly not the rule ;)

This remains probably the biggest investment of our lives, so I consider it almost mandatory to think about it intensively.

And what does your gut feeling tell you?

The plot can’t be smaller, I would have been completely happy with 1,000 m², our size was unfortunately only the defined minimum size of the parcels; smaller was not allowed.

Which municipality/city makes such regulations? That’s quite unusual.
And what if you look around for another, smaller plot?

I just want to add the following point for consideration:
You surely made a conscious decision to have three children. What’s the point then if you bring the children to daycare during the day and to the grandparents late in the afternoon so that both parents can work full-time and pay off the house? On top of that comes the maintenance of the outdoor area and the house. My wife and I both work full-time and have stressful jobs. We have (currently without children) decided to outsource the interior cleaning of the house to a cleaning service, simply because we already lack the time for it. How will you manage that with two full-time jobs and three children?

Therefore, your wife will at most work part-time and you will have to take care of the garden on weekends. That’s what we just wanted to share with you here.

Here is our current calculation in the final phase of the building permit application planning, but already including the quite detailed selection of trades, as I think your single-family house will be quite similar to ours in size and features (definitely to be considered upscale):


The positions shaded in blue are still without offers.
Current price increases for building materials are not yet included. A buffer of around 77,000 is provided for that.

Key data on equipment:

- Architectural style: city villa (2 full stories) on slab foundation with hipped roof (purlin roof structure = expansion reserve)

- Hydronic heating system with underfloor heating (including cooling function): air-to-water heat pump with outdoor split unit

- Central residential ventilation with cooling function

- Interior and exterior window sills on all windows on the ground and upper floors made of marble/granite in anthracite

- Wood-aluminum windows; interior: solid oak wood, exterior: anthracite powder-coated

- Venetian blinds on windows on the south, west, and east sides on the ground floor

- Remaining windows with aluminum protective shutters and electrically operated blinds

- Roof equipped with snow guards

- Chimney flue and four-sided panoramic fireplace

- Straight closed oak hardwood staircase with risers

- Parquet flooring in all rooms (except tiles in entrance area, bathrooms, utility room/technical room, and pantry)

- Radio-based smart home control of electrical venetian blinds/roller shutters and lights

- Bathroom fittings in all bathrooms (parents' and children's bathrooms as well as guest WC) from premium manufacturer "Dornbracht," series "Meta"

- 12.5 kWp photovoltaic system with 7.5 kWh battery storage and 2 charging stations for electric vehicles

If you roughly identify with this, you can expect at least 2,800 EUR/m² (including single garage in our case) + outdoor facilities + ancillary building costs.