How to afford building a house and buying land today?

Why compromises? For you, the house is a gain. Your freedom, as you say. A new build is also just a house. A very expensive one. The dream of many. Many of those only live in it but (still) don’t actually live.

By compromises I meant in the sense that, for example, instead of only a 5 kilometer commute, sometimes you just have to extend it to 30 kilometers if the desired property is there. Or that sometimes, instead of detached, large garden, you also have to be satisfied with less garden and possibly a semi-detached house. Unfortunately, as a normal person, you rarely get exactly what you want.

Supposed compromises are only ever made with one’s own too-high demands.

Well, the OP probably doesn’t write anymore because he only sought confirmation for his fantasies. I think it’s good that many original posters here are brought down to earth. What happened to your original plans for a house with construction costs over 600k€ (end of 2017)? Did the forum bash too much, or was the forum perhaps partly right?

My budget back then, as already stated, was from 450,000€ to 600,000€. I would have only taken the latter to the maximum if everything had really fit, but it didn’t in that sense.

Fortunately, I even stayed under 400,000€ but had to accept compromises accordingly.

Instead of a new build, it ended up being an existing property.
I got detached as I wanted, I thankfully declined the rear house.
Fast internet (currently VDSL and cable is in the street)
Commute about 30 kilometers without the A3 as I wanted
630 sqm plot, but I had to make compromises in the living space of only 110 sqm, but the development plan allows a second floor so this dream of more sqm is not dead yet.

It simply failed because I did not find a suitable plot. Neither regarding location nor really in terms of square meter price. Ultimately, though, luckily for me, otherwise I would never have looked further at existing buildings. And in an existing building I am still free in design (currently in the renovation phase up to the shell construction), so somehow still in the phase of new construction. I had often thought about asking for advice here again in this regard, but I don’t know if the house building forum refers exclusively to new builds or also to existing buildings (renovation).

In the end, you never really know with strangers what is fantasy and what is not. The OP, for example, says he and his wife earn just under 4000€. That alone would already be enough for a generous installment over short terms. But since there is the risk if you finance together that something goes wrong, you end up without a house in the event of the case. That was personally too stressful for me, so I preferred to finance alone and only what is actually possible for me. The result was, as said, a 1600€ rate with just under 1.62% interest fixed for 10 years with the Ing-Diba. I am free to make special repayments; if I finish in 10 years, the bank only collects 26,000€ in interest. Actually fine for me.

The tone in a forum is generally pretty harsh, you have to be able to take it. However, I am grateful for every honest opinion; what use is it if people here encourage me and in the end it doesn’t work out anyway? Better the truth even if the result is sobering.

By compromises I meant in the sense that, for example, instead of only having a commute within 5 kilometers, sometimes you have to extend it to 30 kilometers if the desired property happens to be there. Or that sometimes instead of a detached house with a large garden, you have to be satisfied with a smaller garden and possibly a semi-detached house. Unfortunately, as an ordinary person, you rarely get exactly what you want.

I don't like the word or term "making compromises," just like people always have to blame someone. Life offers many a true abundance of options. It's more about reaching compromises. When you choose options for yourself or make compromises, they are usually honest. When building or buying a house, you weigh pros and cons; usually a "compromise" also has an advantage, even if it's just the price.

Honestly, I would have been interested in the wooden house from Holznagel as well; a photo inside and outside would have been great. You can't just claim that it's a garden house just because it's under 100 sqm and only cost 55 thousand.

I think compromises are made in the sense that you can't fulfill the expectations that have been drilled into you from childhood by society and the media.

1200 sqm of land (like many people have) that is not farmed but only used as an area to "let loose" — try telling that to 90% of the world's population who practically own almost nothing nowadays.
You really can't call that a compromise.
You just acted according to your situation, I think that's right.