House bought before marriage and now divorce - what are the options?

My ex also has a new boyfriend and I only wish them the best. I think it won’t be long before he moves in with her. During the separation, we clearly agreed that if new partners come into the picture and "maybe" move in soon, a small compensation would be involved. This was also accepted!

He should pay a proportionate part of the rent as it would normally be. If legally possible, with a rental agreement and all the associated formalities. She then uses the money to pay off the house and/or build up reserves. This might sound a bit petty at first, but this way everything is clearly regulated and the new partner also has the security that he won’t simply be thrown out. It should be fair for everyone involved. On the other hand, it wouldn’t be fair to you if he is allowed to live in your house for only €200. To keep things clearly separated, I might even open a checking account where everything is deposited and from which the installments, repairs, etc. are paid. I would allocate the ancillary costs normally as in a rental agreement as well.

My ex also has a new boyfriend and I wish them only the best. I think it won't be long before he moves in with her. When we separated, we clearly agreed that if new partners come into the picture and "maybe" move in soon, a small compensation would come into play. This was also accepted!

You do realize that in the case of a "consolidated life partnership" (which can be assumed if the new guy moves into "your" house), post-marital maintenance may be forfeited? Ex-wife and new partner = question about house sale / payout = yes. If she enters a new life partnership in the shared property, I would also draw a very clear line there. The only alternative: Ex + new partner pay the full installment and you are (at least in terms of liquidity) out of the deal and no longer pay for the house. If the installment is "small" and below a usual rent, then please also give half of this difference to you as the co-owner.

I just wanted to find out here whether the option is possible in a divorce without a notary.

As has already explained, you can agree on anything you want with each other, no one will interfere, even if you only want to agree on it verbally. A notary will only act at your request. I want to clarify that there are not per se good and bad fathers/parents just because one approaches the matter differently. As you yourself write, one child reacts completely differently than another and that can also change completely again, and no one knows what the positive changes you have just noticed for the individual children will mean in the long run (see the explanations by ). I would consider an answer to your thread to be almost "dangerous" if it did not address that your life will change in the coming years (with or without a girlfriend), just as that of your still-wife will, and that things will usually feel different than in your current still young phase of new love. Maybe this cup will pass you by, then congratulations, but not naming this cup as if it did not exist would be negligent. As you write, your gut already reacts to the feeling that a stranger permanently lives there, and this can even intensify if you should stumble heavily again in your own life, a child's behavior towards you changes, or the "new" man does things that you absolutely do not like. All of these things can (should) be regulated and dealing with the children or being a father has absolutely nothing to do with it; these are two completely different things that are unfortunately too often mixed. Especially in the neighborhood, there is a similar situation where I often hear that it is only about the children. Our perception from the outside, however, is that it is almost exclusively about the respective ego and the house etc., if you look closely, and not about the actual needs of the children.

All these things can (should) be regulated and dealing with the children or being a father has absolutely nothing to do with it, these are two completely different things that are unfortunately often mixed up.

Yep. We fought bitterly over money for almost three years until the divorce. With the children, we were of one heart and soul and also spoke with one voice on parenting issues. But you have to be able to separate it and, above all, want to (unfortunately, there are many fathers who do not do this. In fact, many more than the "bad" mothers).

Thank you for your many pieces of advice, information, and opinions. I have been hoping for such a discussion here. I want to take a middle path and try to somehow make everyone happy. But I definitely won’t forget that I still have to live for about 50 years and will not let everything be "taken away" from me now. Many options are unknown to me, and that is why I am grateful for every experience or period of suffering. I hear from many people that I might be too "nice" about it, but that’s just my personality. I want to resolve it peacefully, fairly, but not naïvely.

Regarding her new partner, I can only say for now that he "has not yet" moved in, but then maybe a few clauses could be added if it happens soon...