House bought before marriage and now divorce - what are the options?

That is very generous of you. I wonder if your future partner will find it as funny? Duck and run.

I can maybe relate quite well because I was in a similar situation many years ago. Now, with you, it is such that you currently get along well with each other. Maybe it will stay that way, but so far no financial details have been discussed. Both of you should be able to live properly, child support is to be considered independently. For me, in such a case only a clear separation would be an option, just like the personal separation happened. We currently have this in the neighborhood, where she still lives there and he is somewhere in an apartment. It's a constant back and forth. She now occasionally has a new man living with her, he mostly pays for the house. I can understand both sides because it’s a dilemma that is intensified by the compulsive clinging to a house. Why don’t you sell the house and each start anew? You can still be generous or rather moderate but your life goes on and no one wants to feel the burdens of the other as a load in a new relationship. Example: At some point you want to buy something with another woman and go to the bank, old burdens. Your wife no longer pays the agreed monthly amount you rely on. Maybe she really can’t or actually has problems, but then that should no longer be your problem in a new life or that of a new partner. Just imagine it the other way around, that the ex-husband of your new wife basically blocks your project. It’s not that I’m for one side or the other, I simply always advocate for clear matters. Then as a mother/father you can probably get along better with each other. At the moment this may seem reassuring, in the long run certainly less so. No one wants to pay much, yet a divorce also costs money. Maybe you are the prime example that this all works perfectly. As a truly confirmed optimist I definitely doubt that. The problems are only postponed and if it then just affects “only” the next partner, who doesn’t deserve that.

What is unfortunately completely forgotten in this plea are the children who grew up in the house and who are completely torn out of their lives by a sale. Single-family houses are very rarely located close to rental apartments, so a change of school, daycare, and ultimately the entire social environment almost always becomes necessary.

The children did not choose this, so it is absolutely honorable that the man here is not only thinking of himself for once but above all wants to keep the children in their environment, even if that means having to swallow the bitter pill that another man will move into this house.

Please always keep that in mind. The top priority for parents is the children... and not their own life or their own pleasure. Otherwise, one should have thought about that beforehand and refrained from having children. As soon as children are involved, they come first, especially when it hurts.

If the OP can afford it, that's good. But when I read that he moved into a small apartment, that they want to share the lawyer, I have my doubts. The divorce will be expensive. Alimony for 2 children, alimony for the ex. Loan installments for the house, rent for his own apartment. and living expenses. tax class 1, etc. Alternative, continue living separately.

Of course that won’t be forgotten, how do you come up with that? Whether it “tears a child out of life” as you say is, at first, a dramatically sounding claim. That a divorce is usually “not nice” for children, I didn’t think needed mentioning, I considered that common knowledge. My children are now over 30 years old and both tell me that what was important to them was that neither of the parents “loses” or that one of them feels bad. At the time, my wife could have stayed in the house but wanted to leave, and the children ultimately found that rather cool in this case because they were away from the village. I believe the adults usually have a much stronger attachment to the “sweat-built” house. I consider that theory, which (in most cases I know of) is eventually overtaken by reality. Just like in an emergency on a plane, in everyday life parents also have to stay “healthy” and take care of themselves. A father who has shot himself off to the sidelines both financially and emotionally doesn’t help any child. Children need their father even in 10 or 20 years. It is well known that children worry greatly about their parents’ well-being and sense when things are unfair; they then suffer along. “Honorable” is a bit too highly placed for me here, because no proper father forgets the welfare of his children. If you can afford your suggestion, I think that’s great; I would even recommend simply giving them the house, because the children will likely inherit it anyway someday. After my divorce, I was practically broke and know how much pain and also happiness it takes to get back on your feet. Sorry, but you speak here like a preacher with teenagers. Do you think the participants here are all made of concrete? Children are important – BUT NOT THE HOUSE, but unfortunately, parents usually primarily care about retaining property, naming the children as the reason. I’m sure I’m an exception, but my adult sons would both clearly disagree with you here! Ouch. So far you have been spared from such things, what luck for you. Same here. For a while back then, I lived in the basement of my plumber, among radiators. Later I never wanted to even treat myself to something small because I wanted to give everything to the children and rather lived in bad conditions. Today I know that exactly this sacrificial attitude scared the children that their father might go under. Years later, when I again found more joy in life, they gladly came to me; which child wants a faltering and deflated father when they themselves are continuously struggling in youth?