For us, money is not everything. The house was also renovated so that the parents-in-law can move in there someday. Personal story...And today you also get 3 times as much if you sell it. It can also provide a good financial fresh start for both parties. That is just an excuse. But as I said, discuss everything with a lawyer. Just because something causes "trouble" doesn't mean it has to be bad.
You can't save the whole world and certainly not the survival of the parents-in-law. Life circumstances change. It's about your life, not that of the parents-in-law. P.S. Please also think a little about yourself and don't assume that everything will always turn out badly for the ex, their partner, the children, the parents-in-law, the ex's pets, their siblings, etc., when things change. I have the feeling you are terribly afraid of making the wrong decision. But that's not the case. Says someone who was in a very similar situation with three children. Do it! Don't tremble with fear and give yourself up or see everything as hopeless for all other parties involved when you also think about yourself and your future (with the children).For us, money is not everything. The house was also remodeled so that the parents-in-law could move in at some point.
The saying "You can't save the world" is factually correct, but it is very often used to justify selfish behavior. People who think of others besides themselves are mocked or even taken for fools with such sayings. I do NOT accuse , whose posts I appreciate and which otherwise do not go in this direction, because I explicitly do NOT assume this intention from him. My thought on the situation of the OP: There is no extensive dispute and no financial worries. So can show accommodation or even generosity in finding a solution. That he wants to do this legally secure I find extremely reasonable. I really like the attitude "Money isn't everything."You can't save the whole world and certainly not the survival of the parents-in-law. Life circumstances change. Screw the parents-in-law.
I believe that in this still acute phase, one cannot or does not want to imagine at all that one will once have nothing emotionally to do with one's still wife, no responsibility but also no involvement anymore, with the parents-in-law definitely not, as they will understandably give their affection to the new boyfriend (soon maybe also husband). By no means am I saying that one will suddenly stop liking someone with whom one previously had perhaps even a very close connection, but ultimately both sides will probably change in completely different directions (perhaps even spatially); after all, they separated because they had irreconcilably different ideas about life or its contents. Of course, no one can know how it will develop, but with high probability one can state that, as the original poster desires, it will probably not happen, because all parties involved have their very own ideas after such a separation, meaning parents-in-law, both new partners, children who differ again according to their age. No one here wants to talk you out of anything that represents your fundamental attitude. However, in some places it comes across that you currently tend to underestimate your own needs, which your children will not like either. I find generosity, which by the way does not necessarily have to be expressed in money, fundamentally great, yet one should also remember that hopefully many good years lie ahead and at some point in the new life this relatively short marriage should no longer have any impact on the new life. Otherwise, there would be the risk that a new partner would have to "put up with" what one wanted to spare the ex-partner, and I would find that neither fair nor helpful for a new and hopefully long-lasting relationship. Your new partner likes the children and does not complain, which is very nice; nevertheless, one should not overuse this point either, because ultimately they are not her own children and emotionally the ex-wife has nothing to do with it.If the kids are out of the house, one can certainly consider it, but that will still take a few years.
No, I just want to shake up the OP. He is currently acting very altruistically or planning to do so in the future. But no one appreciates it – the ex is living a new life and has found a "replacement" for him. The parents-in-law will prioritize their daughter, and the ex-son-in-law will also somehow "disappear," as the daughter has a new partner as well. The children don’t understand any of this and just wish for a "functioning" family of father and mother who, although separated, (hopefully) both lovingly care for the children’s well-being. I don’t yet see the balance between "I give everything for the children – but also for the ex, etc." and a life of one’s own with the children.because I expressly do NOT attribute this intention to him.