Building land in the middle of nowhere with the house prices?!

The discussion has really drifted off, but it's still exciting ;)

We also belong to the faction of the second educational path, and I can confirm that my desire to learn only came much later. I was already quite lazy in primary school, and my parents thought it was more important that their son had free time and didn’t have to struggle with learning in the afternoon. Neither of my parents went to university. In secondary school, I got ambitious in the last year, but then I first started an apprenticeship. There I learned what it means to sit in an office all day and do rather boring tasks. That’s why I went back to school to catch up on my Abitur. The time at school then opened up completely new perspectives for me and that’s how it continued… my wife’s life path was very similar.
From my experience, motivation has to be intrinsic and is often related to age and environment. I certainly wouldn’t have managed Gymnasium at 11 or 12 years old, and I also wouldn’t have had anyone in my environment (except my father) to ask for help if things got difficult.
But to come back to the topic of building a house: we can earn as much as we want now, but without the corresponding equity or inheritance, it has become much harder these days to build a house! Everyone in my circle of friends who owns a home, whether they studied or not, was heavily subsidized by their parents. And by the way, the people who didn’t study and have been working since their apprenticeship are financially better off… so education certainly isn’t everything!

On the other hand, I wish for my children that they will one day go straight to Gymnasium. I feel that I still lack general education and also language training. You just can’t catch that up in the two years of school after an apprenticeship… however, my eldest is already showing no great willingness in the 1st grade. There’s no motivation, of course, it’s not worth fighting for something because obviously everything is available at home. But with other children, in 3rd/4th grade, they often say they don’t want to go to Gymnasium because they’ve heard there’s more homework there than in Realschule, etc. I’m probably not an education expert, but how do you convey the joy of learning, which others definitely have? Colleagues of mine who attended Gymnasium always tell me how much joy they had already in primary school doing their puzzle booklets and math exercises! I don’t see that joy in my children. I’m writing this because someone here wrote that a professor’s son was quite lazy… that made me smile

I’m probably not an education expert, but how do you convey the joy of learning, which others clearly have? Colleagues of mine who attended high school always tell me with what pleasure they already did their puzzle books and math exercises etc. in elementary school!

I don’t have a good solution for how to do it, but from my own experience an anti-pattern—how not to do it. My own mother always thought math was difficult, and science was for boys. She passed this on to me—probably more unconsciously than consciously. That stuck with me throughout school. Her expectations for me were different in subjects like German or English; if I came home with a grade of 4 (sufficient) in math, it was just because it’s a difficult subject. Math was always like an “oh dear” – I can’t describe it any better. That kind of attitude has a huge impact on children. In the end, after a rather winding path, I ended up professionally in a completely male-dominated field. But especially in math, I had to catch up a lot that had fallen by the wayside during school, simply because I didn’t believe in myself. The capacity was there, as I found out later. Long story short – it helps to question and let go of your own prejudices so you don’t pass them on to your own children. For me that also includes the idea that school is fundamentally something negative, something you just have to get through – school is burdened with negativity in so many ways that it’s no wonder children lack motivation. Motivation has to be authentic; the journey usually starts with yourself. To also connect it to house building: I visited a school friend today whom I hadn’t seen for many years. They also have a new build, but with more DIY work than we did. They already live there and were able to finance it back then with little equity. We both said that at today’s price and interest rate levels, we couldn’t afford our respective properties anymore. And our financing is from just 2022. And all four of us have fairly solid jobs that pay well.

but how do you convey the fun of learning,

just have fun learning yourself and involve the children whenever possible. Adults quickly think they are already doing this. But if you look closely, many activities are driven by fear (I have to do this and that), All the possessions, and this fits the house building forum, also contribute to this. Possessions impose obligations. If you enjoy fulfilling the duties, great. If not, then for some, a smaller house would have been better. Honestly, I see few people who really get absorbed in their hobbies or engage with their immediate surroundings. Especially the lack of ties with which people live their lives somewhere does not encourage children to explore and learn. It takes a while for a flow feeling to develop during an activity. For this, you have to "commit" to an activity and stick with it for a while. Unfortunately, this is a skill that is in decline. Screen stuff, even in leisure time, only makes everything worse. Motivating children to learn: interfere as little as possible. Homework is their responsibility. They have to handle it themselves, with sporadic help. But without constant assistance. That almost always is the death knell for an already difficult subject.

Education is overrated. Many self-employed craftsmen probably earn significantly more than I do with my extensive academic education. And some of the currently responsible politicians are definitively ruining the notion that "education" is something crucial.

Education is overrated. Many independent craftsmen probably earn significantly more than I do with my long academic training. And some of the currently responsible politicians ultimately ruin the idea that "education" is something decisive.

These self-employed people are educated: To earn a reasonable living independently requires many qualities and skills that count as education. Education is not just how many books you know or how high your degree is. I consider it at best half-sensible to calculate the value of one's own education based on salary.

Why do you think you performed so well despite the "bad start"? What did you orient yourselves to, what drove you?

The drive was to achieve things that were never possible for us at home due to a lack of financial means. For us girls, of course, it was also that we didn't want to be like our mother. We knew life had more to offer.

On the other hand, I wish for my children to go directly to grammar school someday.

We also faced that decision 2 years ago. Then, because of the distance to the grammar school, we took the path of least resistance and enrolled our daughter in the secondary school in town. There she can go alone, etc.

I already regretted my decision against the grammar school. However, friends whose children went directly to grammar school tell similar stories about the problems in schools.

however, the eldest already shows little willingness in the 1st grade. There is no motivation, of course, it’s not worth fighting for anything because obviously everything is already available at home.

The lack of motivation seems to run through almost all grades. The children only do what they have to do. Many of them have no motivation to perform more.

So it seems that grammar school is not the ultimate solution either. But, you still have time! Children develop, and my former neighbor’s daughter, for example, was quite a slowpoke in primary school and now in 6th grade is really blossoming, also in terms of her school performance.