Variable loan possible / sensible?

Last chance to back out would be at the notary appointment, when would that be at the latest if you take the whole matter deliberately slow? Had you already mentioned a date?

No, that has not been mentioned at all. The plot of land is reserved for us until March.

To be clearer once again: In my opinion, your current ratio of consumption to income does not fit the goal of being able to manage a property purchase (whether a larger condominium, an existing single-family house, or new construction) in the medium or even long term. You have already explained several times that you do not want/cannot significantly restrict your current lifestyle. As said before, that is completely fine. But you need to be aware of that now, and also going forward.

Well, a condominium is certainly doable; with the house, I'm not sure myself how many restrictions we need or are willing to make.

Well, a condominium is definitely possible, but with the house I'm not sure myself how many restrictions we have to make or are willing to make

As it is asked here, why my husband drives a car, it would be unthinkable for him to do without it. He travels a lot for work. In addition, his car was bought with cash, now he is paying off my car with the loan – and since it is a new car, bought only in 2018, I would keep it (no repairs necessary yet, etc.). Especially now that only a small part of it remains to be paid off. In the city, I am indeed not very dependent on the car, but when we move, we will definitely need two cars. My husband travels a lot for work and therefore needs his own car. It will be the same for me as soon as we live in the outskirts and the child, for example, goes to a Berlin daycare (and that will be 100% the case).

What I can actually imagine as a measure is to deregister my car for the duration of the parental leave because I estimate that with the baby I won’t be driving much/far anyway. After all, that saves 100€ per month.

Well, an ETW is definitely possible

If I still remember your equity correctly, it currently isn't even enough for any incidental purchase costs. That means the financing goes straight over 100% heading towards 110%. You will surely find a financer for something like that. But that will also come at a cost.

One thing I can say: you won’t have to change your life so much that you only wear second hand and have to use the toilet paper on both sides.

Here in the forum, this sometimes really gets out of hand.
Can you restrict yourselves? That is the question of all questions.
Could you imagine buying baby and toddler clothes second hand? Can you imagine buying certain things cheaper?

Your little worm doesn’t care how much money you put into him. What matters to him is that YOU both are there for him. I know everyone only wants the best. But the best is love and time (great calendar saying).
The same applies to you personally.

One small tip: don’t compare yourselves to others. Everyone has a skeleton in the closet. Or a little secret.

Who knows why acquaintances with lower incomes could afford the house?
Lottery win (more often than you think), money from parents, a lot of undeclared work on the construction site. There are many other ideas. Focus on yourselves and not on what others have.

So from a purely financial perspective, you are making bad decisions. A new car loses about 25% of its value in the first 12 months. Stroller for 1500€.

If you really want to know, limit yourselves from 01.01. as it would be with a house. So rent plus the difference to the financing. If you can handle that without any loopholes, then you know. If not, then you don't.

You have to decide what you want and act accordingly.