Single-family house: Is the rate realistic? How much house can we afford?

I dare to claim that you will hardly notice the "restrictions of the first few years" because you will be so happy about your house, the garden, the closeness to family, the wedding, etc. and be busy with all kinds of projects that possible restrictions will fade into the background or won’t weigh heavily. Your family will also keep you busy. ;-) All the best to you; you will certainly have fun and joy and I am happy for you. :)

Thank you very much! It’s always nice to read such kind words. I also think that just creating the garden, little things in the house, family planning, birthdays, occasionally simply enjoying what we have accomplished, and not to forget the actual job will keep us so busy that any new technical device will probably be very, very far down on the priority list...

With a normal lifestyle, you will probably just manage to get by with 3000€ after repayment and house additional costs.

Those who cannot manage this must definitely reconsider their lifestyle. With 3,000€ net, most families in Germany get along quite well BEFORE rent and additional costs...

… you use public transport, right?

I have never lived in a real big city, so my experience is limited to one or two internships I did during the summer holidays in Stuttgart. Back then, also with public transport, having my own car was definitely not an option yet. Walking, riding, transferring, walking to the office quickly adds up to half an hour or more. But yes, basically public transport is more suitable in a big city than stop-and-go with a car.

Three things:

1) My gut still says 2.5k. That should even leave room for a little luxury and/or saving. I consider any other statements exaggerated pessimism.

2) If you don't have to, you DO NOT pull money out of an ETF while it's performing badly; in fact, you should actually be investing more now. Always act countercyclically if you can afford it. And if you can't afford it, you may have chosen the wrong savings method.

3) You can also get excellent coffee with a hand filter if the bean, grind size, and water temperature are right. Expensive devices, even built-in ones? Pfff… ;-)
( hier steht die Werbung für die kleine Privatrösterei umme Ecke)

That's definitely something we agree on. However, we have simply afforded many things because it was financially possible and we didn't have a direct "saving goal" in mind. We have still saved quite a bit, but the decision that we definitely want to build was only made not too long ago. Often the thought was: Why put another 1000 € in the account? I'll just buy x/y/z now.

You can simply assume there's some truth to that if you write it that way. I can confirm it on our part exactly the same, because not everyone lies to themselves or sugarcoats their finances..

We also treat ourselves to one thing or another that isn't really necessary. BUT, when it comes down to it, we can very well and gladly do without such things without it feeling like deprivation.

You'll take tips regarding special repayments and repayment switches; what is possible with a house you'll see once a first plan has been made, and then you can still look at where to reduce "unnecessary" things.

It'll work out!

Anyone who can't manage that must definitely rethink their lifestyle. With €3,000 net, most families in Germany get along quite well BEFORE rent and additional costs...

That's true... Sometimes I'm really surprised at the amounts considered quasi "essential" in this forum. We currently live on about €2,600 net (including child benefits etc.) with 2 children and 2 cars. I'm glad that now, due to the end of parental leave etc., it's significantly more because otherwise a house wouldn't be feasible, but if you have such sums left after deducting rent/mortgage and additional costs, it should be quite manageable.