Psychology of Buying / Overcoming

Impossible in FFM for sure, but I don't want to go there anyway. However, in the surrounding area about 45-50 km outside it might be possible, as long as it's not ridiculously close to the highway - at least that's my impression?

What could possibly happen in the worst-case scenario if you find a suitable plot/house tomorrow and just go for it?

Thoughts running through my head like: miscalculated - hidden construction defects etc., possibly an expensive renovation overlooked in the case of an existing property.

I think my real problem is really the "time pressure" that would arise when buying existing properties, or generally from external sellers or buyer competition. I need time to "think everything through." I don’t like buying based on "gut feeling."

Maybe it makes sense to first look for a building plot and buy that? Then at least I wouldn't have this pressure to decide? I could always sell the plot later or would that involve "ongoing large" costs?

It already starts with the fact that we can't agree on either condo or house.

... because you probably would like to have a house, but through the developer story multi-family house and there a condo you feel more security against building disasters?!

A house would be nice, but since we have no experience with housebuilding etc., we shy away from the burden and always have the typical horror stories in mind.

There is also the option of a used property.

A condo would feel like it minimizes the risk for us because of the community + better location.

I see here the option of a townhouse as a starter property. Security through standard construction, but a unit for yourself. That also works quite well if you are single

I do not see the life decision as so critical.

yes, you can always change. That is possible without loss if there is no amateur DIY that diminishes the house, good location and maintenance.

It is simply the fear of making mistakes that can really tear a hole in the finances.

See above. But should it be the case that you have a 20/30000 loss, it is always only money, which for those who can afford a house is not as serious as for people who have no income. I would put it this way: an unplanned divorce is more expensive.

I myself am also more of a "lone wolf" and continuous coordination with others seems maybe exhausting to me, if necessary.

A lone wolf doesn’t always have a different opinion and is not necessarily absolutely unpersuadable. There are also compromising lone wolves

I even want to, as I would like to spend my retirement abroad with my wife – it’s the typical cold water, only that it’s very cold here & you can really fall flat on your face.

You can always do that later. We will probably rent later. For now, ownership suits us. For us it is not an investment, but simply a way of living in a house without compromises (except self-made ones). Since as you get older you become more relaxed and focus shifts to other things, later another location, e.g. central or on a coast, would be worth considering, but not affordable. But that is a thought you can pursue later. I would first look at your current situation and mid-term future in your place, everything else is an option – of which you all have plenty.

Thoughts run through my mind like: miscalculated - covered-up errors in construction etc., possibly overlooking an expensive renovation in the case of an existing property.

Annoying, but not a disaster. It is doable to eliminate the errors. And not every decision should be burdened with such problems.

Our children bought a house last year. They actually wanted to build, but never got a plot of land. They were very uncertain about the house, although it is a great and high-quality house. They bought it, changed almost everything inside with their own manpower, and are also happy despite uncovered defects (electrics, basement). Happy despite minor defects that can be corrected. Happiness is also something you have to grasp yourself.

In FFM impossible of course, but I don’t want to go there anyway. But in the surrounding area ~45-50 km outside it might be possible if it’s not incredibly close to the highway – at least that’s my impression?

Thoughts go through my head like: miscalculated – covered-up construction errors etc., possibly an expensive renovation overlooked with an existing property.

I think my real problem is really the "time pressure" that would arise when buying existing properties, or generally from external sellers or buyer competition. I need time to "think everything through." I don’t like to buy based on "gut feeling."

Maybe it makes sense to first look for a building plot & buy that? Then at least I wouldn’t have this decision pressure? I could still sell the plot later or would there be "ongoing big" costs involved?

I think the idea with the plot is great.

I think my real problem is really the "time pressure" that would arise when buying existing properties, or generally from external sellers or buyer competition.

Calmness also helps here by assuming that no offer is one-time only. Along with the confidence to say: "I really like the property. However, I never agree spontaneously. I can decide in 5 days. With me, you will find a reliable buyer without later hassle with the financing – as is often heard from stressed sellers*. Let's give ourselves time and everything will be fine." *Showing some doubt is sometimes very helpful. Consistently decline under pressure.