Financing framework for new construction on own land, 3 children, civil servant A13, Hamburg

It is a forum and I have my opinion. If someone doesn't like it, they can press ignore and everyone is happy.

That's how it is. If someone can't handle an honest opinion, they don't have to ask for help. It's quite simple. A little less laziness and financial prioritization of one's own family, and the OP's family can easily fulfill all domestic wishes. The alternative is a somewhat cramped home combined with an otherwise life at about citizen's income level, but with a lot of free time. Everyone can do as they please. But it should be allowed to say it, even if the decision doesn't matter to us.

I am also not among those who fatalistically recommend an even smaller rental apartment right away. But then the cramped house should at least be thoughtfully built and properly prioritized. I see neither here. Also, the simple insight that even a little extra work would mean a huge leap is missing.

In any case, I can only agree....

a) before I drastically save on the size of the children's rooms, I would rather move my own office into the living room or reduce my own oversized bedroom
b) one needs a kitchen to live in, and 35m2 including the living area is very tight for 5 people. In a separate room and without corridor share, I might still imagine this for older children who only sit in front of electronic devices anyway. But otherwise, this is rather meant for a family with one child. That might work
c) and to avoid a) and b), I would consider a small side job for the mother, at least once the children are out of the youngest age, or alternatively reduce my donations. In any case, I would forgo a sabbatical if I had to sacrifice the family's basic needs for it.

Of course, it is not our or my decision, but then one should also not ask for advice if one does not accept the answers.

That’s how it is. If someone cannot handle an honest opinion, they don’t have to ask for help

Since it is assumed that whoever asks for help is also asking for an opinion. I’ll keep it short in simple language: No.

As is assumed, whoever asks for help is asking for an opinion. I will keep it short in simple language: No.

Well, what else? None of us knows the "truth," because it simply does not exist. We can only give our opinion on his plans. So if he limits the range of opinions from the outset because he cannot tolerate other worldviews, then he will receive only very limited help. Everyone can handle that as they wish. I prefer conversations with people who have a broad horizon and do not just reinforce my own opinion, because only from those can one learn. But everyone can handle that as they want.

Well, what else?

To acknowledge the objectively given framework and to show possibilities and limits. There is a world of difference between the normative statement x is not possible without y, but only with z and the personal judgment "you can't afford to be lazy." Apparently, not everyone seems to know that, as I observe.

So if he restricts the spectrum of opinion from the outset because he cannot tolerate other worldviews, then only very limited help will be received.

Since no single questioner actually cares a bit about the worldview of the responders, because it has exactly nothing to do with help, I see no restriction. Were you restricted? No.

That you think your worldview could help others, you are entitled to as a free opinion.

Everyone has their own pressing questions where they reach their limits and hope for collective intelligence. I hardly know anyone who takes advice from others that is didactic, judgmental, and trivial, offering help only on their own terms. Not everyone has the time and patience to endure lengthy evasions, intrusive comments, and inefficient discussions about their own worldview, especially when overwhelmed and stressed. We built, and fortunately everything went well. We enjoy the time in our new home very much, but still have some topics and problems here and there where one likes to exchange ideas with neighbors, friends, or family. This way, everyone benefits from each other, and everyone gladly shares their knowledge and experience benevolently. Not everyone has such a network, and such a forum is all the more valuable. During the construction period, I also read a lot here in the forum and was able to benefit greatly from some well-founded and objective contributions (such as KlaRa). I wanted to leave a heartfelt thank you at this point and hope that exactly such contributions in this forum do not disappear even more than they already do.