Approaches to solutions after unmarried separation

They do not engage with individuals in pending situations. I had to change my bank after 10 years

If the creditworthiness is good, nothing should change for the bank, right? They only let you go after 10 years or were you not willing to pay the VE? How was it then with your partner? Best regards!

If the creditworthiness is good, nothing should change for the bank, right? They only released you after 10 years, or were you not willing to pay the VE? How was it with your partner then?

Best regards!

As I already said, I paid alone for 2 or 3 years after the separation without the bank being involved. I wanted to have a follow-up financing (forward loan) on my own. I explained that I was "living separated," and they declined. Argument: uncertainty whether I would still be liquid then. Because they don’t know how much one has to pay out the other or how much remains for oneself.
DSL was really difficult in this regard, as conversations alone were not enough.

Search for a new smaller object and pledge exchange or sale,

Everything else is nonsense if she is not released from the liability.

Later, the new partners will be happy when it goes wrong again with the exes about the shxx

Oh dear, this is a terrible situation. I feel for you.

She wants out, we both want to avoid the house being sold or foreclosed on, or our parents’ apartment suffering as a result. I know the mood can change at any time, but at the moment we’re both pulling in the same direction and want to get through this with at most some bruises. The plan, if I can keep the house, is to get two roommates (rental income would be around €900-1000 including utilities).

The wish to get through with just some bruises is understandable, but if debt relief isn’t possible, it will be expensive. Basically, for a clean break, only the sale remains (risk that the sale proceeds won’t be enough) or the option with the prepayment penalty. But that would be €35,000 + €10,000 notary/taxes (25% of 10% of €400,000).

Can you afford an additional €22,500 debt besides the €1,400 loan? The advantage would be that you might be able to take out the new loan with a lower repayment rate. It would also be interesting to know how high the new interest rate would be.

She had nothing or didn’t want to contribute anything

She hasn’t paid or doesn’t want to pay... does she have money or income? How will she react to the offer to buy herself out for €22,500? Is that within her financial means? How would she alternatively handle a sale plus residual debt? Or more generally: what is her proposed solution?

Why should she receive any payment? No equity was contributed, and hardly anything has been repaid. At the moment, there is 100% financing against the house, zero assets.

Something similar happened to a friend of mine (a long time ago). He bought a house with his partner, and there was still some renovation to do – the relationship ended even before moving in. He then bought her half, paid the property transfer tax on that half again. But I don’t know how the loan was handled.

If she wanted to get out of the loan agreement, the contract would have to be terminated, or why would there be a prepayment penalty?

It’s definitely a really nasty situation, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that you find a solution.

First, sort out the land register (with the corresponding costs for property transfer tax and notary) and at the bank, keep your feet still for now (you are paying the installments alone) was obviously not an option because she remains jointly liable for servicing the loan.

It is a problem that affects both sides equally and not just one has to find a solution. For this, I would first mentally detach myself completely from the house and consider the sale as a solution just as well. My most important and non-negotiable goal would be to draw a clear and final line for BOTH under the matter. Both started it and both now equally bear the cost it takes to end the whole thing. I believe I can read that you are more attached to the house, which you will ultimately have to compensate with more money/responsibility. So, there are not only other mothers with equally beautiful daughters but also other, more beautiful houses! The real value of a clear separation (which in our case was rather accidental or decided for somewhat dishonest reasons) only becomes clear much later, namely when you eventually find yourself in the "next" life.