Special repayment, saving or consumption?

Always the same argument You also hear it again and again in private settings...

In my opinion, it’s a matter of mindset. We are fundamentally completely different in this respect from many others in our circle of acquaintances.

That certainly changes a lot, no question! However, nothing changes in the mindset, which ultimately transfers to the upbringing and the child.

Somehow you are special in everything, can that be? Not meant negatively, just noticeable.

As I said: Have some first. Then talk about upbringing. And unnecessary expenses. And strange "everything was better back then" statements.

Warning, an extreme view follows (which I do not necessarily fully endorse) as a food for thought: You all forget one thing: we have to consume and take on debt to keep the system running. So everyone who wants to pay off quickly is welcome to do so, but only to blow the extra money. Stimulate the economy! Because if the system collapses, everyone will be expropriated anyway. In that sense, I did everything right if I have no debt left on the exact day of my death, but also no assets anymore. Then I have received from society and given back. Anything else would be selfish.

Somehow, you are special in everything, can that be? Not meant negatively, just noticeable.

As I said: Have some kids first. Then talk about upbringing. And unnecessary expenses. And weird "everything was better in the past" statements.

I would claim that we are among the simplest citizens. Not particularly demanding, don’t care about outward appearances (some social media posts that say how great life currently is), aren’t “pretentious,” have, in my opinion, a good sense of saving, and don’t spend money unnecessarily, meaning: whoever wants to buy something should also be able to afford it. You can’t just want but also have to be able to give. Probably also due to a good upbringing that we both had, in my opinion.

Yes, if that is special to you, then so be it. In today’s time, you might even be right about that.

For me, it is sometimes incomprehensible how money is spent today and how children are pampered. When I look at the other kindergarten kids of my niece, talk to my brother about how the parents are, then I really feel sorry for the educators.
No wonder that kids today have mouths for ten people and are totally spoiled.
Yes, you are right, I should have kids first, but I can tell you, it will not run like that for me.
Sometimes I wonder: How far has it come?

“Everything was better in the past” is crap. But definitely true in certain situations. Currently, we have clearly unlearned what it means to abstain and not be able to afford everything. I find that totally sad because it offers no added value for life itself to be able to afford everything.

You simply get more and more sensitized to this topic from day to day when you see who is building in our new development area, how the financial situation is there, how people “show off,” etc.
Honestly, I tell you... That really makes us more and more “bitter” day by day.

And then my ex-colleague writes to me he will pick me up with his new car to go eat döner – he currently has no job and a €90,000 private loan running.
Unfortunately, this is no longer an exception. And now tell me that in this area the attitude of the 80s or 90s was not more purposeful and actually BETTER for every taxpayer who lives according to their means?

Well, it might be a pretty “strong” opinion, but I totally stand behind it. Everyone has to decide for themselves.

Who has unlearned not being able to afford everything? Make that more concrete. People in your environment? Society in general? And how do you determine that? Edit: You just edited and specified that again - why does it make you angry how people build in the new housing area? I don't understand. What does spending money have to do with spoiling children? Is it reprehensible to enable your children to have everything that is possible within your own living standard? Can children not still be well raised? My husband was never on vacation with his parents and siblings because: The house had to be paid off. Did that harm his development? So far I cannot detect any signs of that. Would it have harmed him if Mom and Dad had paid off the loan two years longer, but he had vacations with them? Would he have become a spoiled child? I dare to doubt that. I think you are mixing a few things there. And, as Wiesel has accurately noted, not everything excludes each other. You can certainly not be wasteful and still not only work towards minimizing debt. Apparently, one can also take long-distance trips every year and still make maximum prepayments. But I find this judging of others a bit strange and presumptuous, whether that really shows such a magnificent upbringing I don't know.

Who has forgotten how not to be able to afford everything? Make that more specific. People in your environment? Society in general? And how do you determine that?

What does spending money have to do with spoiling children? Is it wrong to enable your children to have everything that is possible within your own standard of living? Can children still be well-behaved then?
My husband was never on vacation with his parents and siblings because: the house had to be paid off. Did that harm his development? So far I can see no signs of it. Would it have harmed him if Mom and Dad had paid off the mortgage two years longer but he had gone on vacations with them? Would he have become a spoiled child? I dare to doubt that.

I think you are mixing up a few things there. And, as Wiesel has rightly observed, not everything excludes each other. You can certainly not be wasteful and still not only aim to minimize debt. Apparently, you can also take long-distance trips every year and still make maximum extra repayments. But I find this judging others a bit strange and presumptuous, whether that really shows such a grand education I do not know.

Yes, it is referring to society in general. It is always risky to make such a statement, of course, but that is definitely my opinion, as I have noticed it more and more in my immediate environment as well.

You relate it to yourself and your husband – but that was never the implication. Also, the things I wrote were not directed at you but at the broad mass of today’s society.

But I truly believe that today’s child-rearing (as I have already described several times – naturally a very bold statement) goes hand in hand with frugality or over-indebtedness and “treating oneself.” I also cannot exactly explain to you how this manifests itself.

However, I always notice how easily I can assign children to their parents. I don’t know if you fully understand what I mean by that, but there really emerges an overall picture in this area, which is why I do mix the things up, correct, but ultimately it all fits together.

In the end, we also go totally off track and it doesn’t matter at all, since everyone has to go their own way anyway.

I can only agree with . Now my children are at the best age for “we-do-things-together.” Now I want to have a good time with them, and that should include the ski vacation or the riding and music lessons. I only live once too and don’t know how much time is left – so I don’t want to always run everything on low flame. I have an expensive hobby, and I allow myself that. Consciously.

I moved in a year ago, and I have needed this year to consolidate because quite a bit piled up at the final stretch. Since various things didn’t go as planned, the amount freely available each month after deducting the “fixed” expenses is unfortunately only half as high as originally calculated. I have to adapt to that now. I have a loan component, unfortunately it’s not the smallest... if I don’t do anything about it, I’ll be paying until I’m 80. That doesn’t seem like a good plan to me. So I HAVE to take action here (so make extra repayments). On the other hand, there are plenty of other “holes” that still need to be plugged, and the parking space should also be paved sometime...

But I will not cut out the ski vacation with the children for that. Period. Possibly corona will take care of that for me, at least next year. Then that amount will surely look good on my account or as an extra repayment.