It is just as much a luxury as a suitable kitchen or a bathroom exactly according to your own ideas and not just functional from the landlord.
die man dann zusammen mt dem Elektro-Betrieb über die nächsten Jahre immer weiter aufbauen kann.
That will rather not happen if you cannot do the work yourself. You will spend at least twice as much instead of saving.
und später auch Heizung und Lüftung darüber steuern können.
You should have that done right away if it is even necessary. Because that will also cost more later than during construction.
Visualsierung brauche ich erstmal nicht.
That is correct. You hardly ever need visualization. Houses without modern electronics don’t have it either. Basically, it is a pure nice-to-have. And that again is a point you can very well build up yourself over the years, and here you can save money because no professional company has to assign someone for several days and sell you the hardware to place your pictures and buttons on a screen.
Furthermore, it can also be quickly tinkered with free software on the phone in the initial period.
Szenen kann man später ergänzen.
Scenes are built and changed anyway all the time. Habits and needs change.
Sind 20.000€ überhaupt realistisch
Yes, that is doable. At least you get the usual standard equipment of a general contractor with KNX implemented for that. So the well-known ceiling connection point with switching etc. Just ask the company from Alt-Karow, they are capable. However, I cannot say anything about the prices.
Türkontakte etc...
These are also hard to retrofit. At least if you want it pretty (invisible), functional and cheap. So I would make a plan about what is really essential in a KNX installation and definitely have that done. The rest can then be built or retrofitted yourself if necessary.
Door contacts are rather not possible. Visualization, on the other hand, is.