Before I would accept the hassle, I would simply take the 8KW heat pump. Where do you see the risk? Too big = a bit harder to adjust and will especially cycle in transitional periods => Not a big deal, because your general contractor/plumber probably won’t set the air-water heat pump efficiently anyway, so you will have to deal with this issue regardless with that expectation.
The acquisition costs won’t totally escalate now considering the longer time until everything is finished and that you will also have stress with the general contractor and then have to take care of the heat pump yourself.
I would stay with the heating positions at the general contractor, and something like this should have been considered before starting with a general contractor whether the package suits you or if more individuality is wanted.
PS. We got a 7KW heat pump from the general contractor for 167m2 KFW55 and are satisfied with the efficiency as well as the cycling behavior, although it definitely took some time to adjust it. We could have sized it smaller with better underfloor heating planning, but general contractor after all... that meets with incomprehension.