Now I have registered here because I have been reading along for some time and now want to add my two cents: From my point of view, the original asker posed an absolutely reasonable question and is making absolutely sensible considerations, so I don’t understand why some people here have to make a bit of a joke out of it.
My situation is very similar: About 15 years ago I made (from today’s perspective) a big mistake by building a house in a southern Berlin suburb next to my parents’ house on their property. My thinking back then was: I am a composer and mainly do film scoring, so I need my own small recording studio, which I can of course realize better in my own house than in a rented apartment. What I didn’t think about at all (due to lack of experience) was: How will this be perceived by women? The original asker hasn’t said anything about his family situation, so there has been no mention of women and children, which leads me to assume that he is single and has a similar problem to mine: Women tell me that I live way too far out and that they would never move somewhere where their in-laws live right next door. Women are already so savvy today that they ask very quickly (usually even before the first date) about my living situation – and then you’re immediately out.
Therefore: The question of how a particular living arrangement affects other people is absolutely important and was not sufficiently considered by me back then, so now I probably have to live with the consequences.
I, too, would now rather live somewhere in the green suburbs, because the noise in Berlin bothers me more and more as well, but I probably have no chance to implement that somehow because my money is tied up in the existing house and I can’t sell it since it stands on my parents’ property. And I also see the risk that my chances with women won’t increase if I move even further out. You also have to consider what impact this has on further family life. What about things like daycare, school, and the woman’s workplace if I ever find one? I can actually work from anywhere, I could even live in a lighthouse on Rügen since I have neither public nor client traffic. But if I really want to have a family, then I have to think about the others too. And only proximity to the city center counts there. Unfortunately.
So from that perspective: I really see no reason for any snide remarks. Be happy that things worked out better for you family-wise, but don’t point fingers at those for whom this is not the case and who are trying to change their situation.
Sebastian