You feel belonging to some kind of "upper social class" and have equally elevated expectations for your future home, but you cannot afford it.
Yes, that's roughly how you can summarize it. Twenty years ago, I made the mistake of building a too high-quality house in a too simple area.
But whether that is the right decision, you only know many years later.
No! You think so, but that is totally wrong.
To start from the beginning: I read this thread completely several days ago, and what came to my mind was and is: the guy has a problem with himself. Unfortunately, I couldn’t copy anything while reading, so I couldn’t respond to individual sentences and I am not going to go through everything again to use quotes.
When you decide on something at a certain time in a certain situation, there is a reason for it. For example, personal, financial, or situation-based reasons. And then it is
right at that moment. If the situation changes over the years, it was still the right decision back then. You feel wrong decisions immediately or relatively quickly.
Just because the whole world or the city and countryside have changed in the last 20 years does not mean the decision at that time was wrong. You felt quite comfortable then.
Let’s assume you built the house alone back then, without a wife. Everything fine. Then after 10 years you meet a woman and have children. Then the house back then was not wrong, even if it is now too small for a family. Then you try to adapt to the changed circumstances or to change the situation. But back then it was right.
You don’t feel comfortable there now... but you will stay with your parents and not move away. Hence the thought of "buying land in advance" so that later, when your parents are no longer around, you can act... you can escape. You have an escape from the lousy surroundings.
(Were you also the one who sees the problem of not finding a wife because you live next to your mom?)
But honestly? We all live in a world that changes. Only nobody screams after 20 years, starts whining that he can’t find a building plot in the "Ring" now. Someone would have... (...should have bought Telekom...)
We all arrange ourselves somehow. Some already have their second or third house under construction, others have to sell again because they have a new job, others get into the car first, then take the train to get to work.
They ask for advice, but they don’t whine. They are not surprised that they don’t get a building plot within walking distance to the public transport stop (big city). They face their situation and are already one step ahead because they accept the situation as it is.
They sometimes accept driving 40 km to live in the countryside. The countryside is often
simply... Your quote:
simple area... I find your thinking quite strange, the difference between the simple area and what you envision.
A psychologist would now look for the reason in your relationship with your parents because somehow you devalue their life/environment. They are to blame for your misery ;) (sorry, that’s not my opinion, but it could be yours)
Those who want to stay in the big city get an apartment. But they don’t scan Google Maps for stations if they know they can’t afford it anyway. You are stuck at your Plan A and don’t know Plan B.
You should accept that only what you can afford is your level. And if you cannot play with the nouveau riche, then you are none of them. Nor are you a noble or a better person. Even if you see yourself that way. That’s the impression I get.
Also, pedantically searching for a place in the Ring or within walking distance of a station probably won’t work.
On the other hand, I have to say that your customers don’t care at all how you get to your jobs or come there. The main thing is that you are on time. This point... I have to look for it again in the thread... is completely your perspective and your problem. Since you live in the
simple area, it should be, according to your opinion, that you don’t have a single customer and cannot get a foothold in Berlin in any way. But apparently, you do have customers, so your thinking is somewhat contrived and not relevant (you often express thoughts/problems that are not really problems or are far-fetched...).
And that brings me back to the fact that you overthink too much... you overthink about eggs not laid, about eggs that will never be laid... You feel special in your situation... but you are not. Many master your situation without looking at it in
20 years, without giving themselves the right to exaggerated demands.
Edit: the search for a woman... that also seemed rather unrealistic to me while reading... you must be able to reflect yourself to see what suits you. Could it be that you want to play in the wrong league?
Edit: If you are embarrassed about your address, get a PO box or fictitious address in the city. But really, so many great character actors live in some "suspect" neighborhood (as they call it in Berlin) or in the sticks, and nobody finds that weird.
Could it maybe be a midlife crisis? Identity problems? You are so fixated on every kind of problem... if a user here disarms one problem, you come up with the next...