Cost coverage for fencing that is not desired

Or bring constructive suggestions yourself and turn the whole thing to your own advantage. If the OP wants a hedge, then suggest it to the neighbor. Maybe the neighbor will contribute half of the costs for the hedge. If you then suggest taking over the planting from your own side after moving in, the neighbor won’t need the landscape gardener and can already design their side. It should be noted that a hedge needs to be trimmed from both sides.

Our neighbor wanted preferably a hedge made of cherry laurel, as he had planted cherry laurel on the other side as well, and offered to cover half the costs while simultaneously allowing the hedge to be planted right on the boundary (normally it is 50cm away with us). Legally, we probably would have had to take over the fencing on the side of the boundary. We wanted a hedge too, and the type of plant didn’t matter to us at that time, so we agreed on cherry laurel and accepted the offer. We then took over planting the plants. Give and take. But this only works if both talk to each other about how they envision the whole thing for themselves.

What reason could he have for that? Is there a pet that could run away? Does he need the feeling of security when the kids are playing outside? If you don’t know, find out. If there is a good reason, you will find it easier to agree. At the moment it is not clear to me how many stubborn people are involved.

He just wants to get it done (he said so) and has already commissioned the landscaper. He probably won’t wait forever with a quarter of the work if the rest is finished. There are older children, but no animals. Maybe now that we are here he just wants a separation. Before, he didn’t care.

If the neighbor wants a high-quality fence from the landscaping contractor, the price per running meter can easily be that. At 12m length, maybe even 4k, and the neighbor would like 2k. I would also go on the barricades there – or give him the 300€ (that’s what I would spend on a chain-link fence) and then be happy about the neighbor’s fence.

Well, no idea what he commissioned there. Apparently, he has an offer for everything... what our share is supposed to be, he doesn’t say. But if he puts up such an expensive fence and I give him 300 EUR, that doesn’t necessarily lead to a friendly atmosphere.

Even a very expensive fence would be annoying, but I would accept it after a conversation didn’t work out. However, the OP does not show his constructive side here. Any advice that preserves the relationship with the neighbor is the best. And sometimes that just costs you money. Money that would sustainably improve the OP’s life. On the other hand, a spoiled neighborly relationship can have a seriously bad influence. Sometimes you just don’t have the best seat in life. As long as it’s limited to a garden fence, one can only congratulate the person.

Ok, someone who already has the excavator standing in the garden, the offer in his pocket, has directly dismissed the hedge, and only wants a "yes" for whatever from his new neighbor, is therefore more constructive than the new neighbor who has an idea but no fixed decision? One doesn’t have to understand that. And no, I am not a yes-man to everything just for the sake of peace. Gladly a factual conversation and transparency about the costs and scope. Then I can gladly agree. But a simple "Will you cover half the costs?" does not get a yes out of me.

Or just bring constructive suggestions yourself and turn the whole thing to your own advantage. If the OP wants a hedge, then suggest that to the neighbor. Maybe the neighbor will contribute half the cost for the hedge. If you then suggest taking over the planting from your own side after moving in, then the neighbor doesn't need the garden landscaper and can already design his side. It should be noted that a hedge wants to be cut from both sides.

He already dismissed my suggestion of the hedge with: "You can have it behind the border fence." So the hedge topic as a shared boundary is more or less off.

To conclude: I will talk to him and ask for an appointment with the garden landscaper. We can gladly discuss what possibilities there are and what each of us envisions. Ideally, we’ll find something we both like.

But as I said, he already has an offer for the entire fence and the excavator is in the garden. So it’s already decided what he wants and probably the garden landscaper has already been commissioned, otherwise the excavator wouldn’t have been there since yesterday. If that turns out to be the case, I will pay for half the chain-link fence.

The way you describe it is, in my opinion, quite unfortunate on the neighbor’s part. As I said, I know well the feeling of being steamrolled and recognize some elements here. I also understand that the neighbor is at a different stage of his project, but I also know this urgent need for boundaries even before getting to know each other; what a pity! As mentioned, we have different circumstances here, but the procedure was similar and also annoying, since it was still assumed here that one could build exactly on the boundary line. Whether we liked it or not, we were supposed to pay only half, which we absolutely did not want or need ourselves. Ultimately, the art for you will be to find the jack of all trades, and I find some of your thoughts quite appropriate in this regard. I think it’s absolutely fine if you tell him that you yourself don’t want an expensive fence installation, since your focus is on the planting in front of it, so that as little of a fence as possible can be seen. And for something you won’t even see afterward, you certainly don’t want unnecessary large expenses that would then be lacking for the planting. In my old house, we had it arranged so that one dug the holes and the other set the posts/sleeves, and then we shared the wooden fence. To be honest, I don’t want to have joint things, as this could eventually lead to discussions again; I’d rather pay for it myself. If it is too expensive/complicated for you, as he apparently already discussed, I would also tell him that exactly—that you would like to share the cost of a normal, simpler fence. Maybe he will still be upset, but at some point you won’t be responsible for that anymore. Ultimately, it is something that should be seen in the long term, and if necessary, it costs a few euros more and you also see to what extent you engage in commonalities in the future. So you are not an isolated case but rather the standard in residential development. Today we have the fence on one side, they are satisfied with it, and I can live with it and have my plants in front of it. In general, our contact with the settlement is rather reserved, but people get along as far as necessary. Choose from the previous suggestions what suits you best and go this way; in any case, you will only be wiser afterward. For me, the priority would always be that I am absolutely willing to share a functional solution and also implement it myself. Exciting, keep us updated.