Community of accrued gains in construction

With us, it is planned that everyone works 80%. That would be 6.5 hours a day and perfectly manageable for us. However, we have not made it our life mission to earn as much money as possible. Time is simply priceless, and if you can get by very well with less income, we both gladly give up 500€ or 600€ a month for that. How it will ultimately look when the time comes remains to be seen. You often can't plan everything down to the last detail.

I also have acquaintances who negotiated more vacation instead of a salary increase simply because it is more important to them to have a few euros more in their pocket.

Regards

And of course, it can go exactly the other way around.

A good friend met a woman who had just bought a house that was in need of renovation. Her father wanted to fix up the house.

They got together and he moved into her house 2 years later. After another 3 years, they got married and had a child. Our friend renovated the entire house himself with the help of his friends and relatives and invested over 50k in materials. Her father only did one bathroom.

End of the story: he is not listed in the land register, only has receipts for purchased materials which were more expensive. Small items' receipts were thrown away immediately because the material was used right away.

She now receives separation and child support of about 1.5k and he has to pay and gets nothing.
And during her parental leave, he also paid all her expenses for car, insurance, etc., and she was able to use her parental allowance freely.

Women can be a**holes too..

And of course, it can work exactly the other way around.

A good friend met a woman who had just bought a house that needed renovation. Her father wanted to fix up the house.

The two got together and two years later he moved into her house. After another three years they got married and had a child. Our friend renovated the entire house himself with the help of his friends and relatives and invested over 50k in materials. Her father only did one bathroom.

The end of the story: he is not listed on the land register, he "only" has receipts for purchased materials which were expensive. Small receipts were thrown away immediately because materials were used right away.

She now receives separation and child support of about 1,500 and he has to pay and gets nothing.
And during her parental leave he paid all her expenses for car, insurance, etc. and she was able to use her parental allowance freely.

Women can be a**holes too..

whether male or female. Both can be naive

friendship ends where money begins

In this case, HE would again be disadvantaged by 400€. After all, it is the common children for whose care SHE would therefore also have to pay half.

True, I didn’t have that on my radar with that quick shot from the hip.

Women can also be a**holes..

whether male or female. Both can be naive

I think is closer to the truth here. Anyone who assumes ill will also assumes that everyone thinks that far ahead and pursues a master plan. Life teaches us: there is no need to assume bad intentions where stupidity is a sufficient explanation.

True, I didn’t have that on my radar with the shot from the hip.



I think is closer to the truth here. Whoever assumes ill will also assumes that they all think that far ahead and are following a master plan. Life teaches us, however, that you don’t have to assume ill intent when stupidity suffices as an explanation.

when everything is rosy and everyone loves each other, it’s never a problem. But when a breakup comes and then a new partner, plus the ex father-in-law and so on

then it always gets complicated because of money, support, and the house

I had already understood it that way. The underlying question is always "How would your income have developed if you had not had children?".

But of course under the premise that raising children was actually only your second choice.

So... we both work at a public research institute, have our salary group determined after graduation, and therefore everything regarding income is pretty "fixed". So I can say exactly what I earn full-time and part-time, and if necessary, I might just get a pay grade increase later because of parental leave. The salary difference between us is actually very small, since we have the same degree.

Actually, I enjoy my job, I wouldn’t want to stay home completely. But it didn’t bother me to work reduced hours (75%) because of the children. That was a good balance for me. Sometimes it was even less, then of course the income difference was correspondingly greater.

So, to be clear again, I didn’t want to put cash into the household because I knew that in the event of a separation I wouldn’t see any of it again. So, for example, not use my "spare" money for extra repayments. I had already paid my share of utility costs and "rent" (when working full-time). "Sweat equity" like garden maintenance was added on (including mowing the lawn, trimming hedges).
We each had a car, each bought and maintained their own (by the way, mine was by far the more expensive, bigger one , for hobby reasons). Almost all the furniture was mine, I already had it beforehand. I paid for the kitchen and sofa when they were newly purchased. For example, he replaced the dishwasher at some point.

I already noticed yesterday that the discussion drifted somewhat away from what I originally wanted to convey, sorry for that. Because I never wrote that I now wanted any payout from the increase in value.
I only pointed out the fact of the different asset development. And that it was implied that I had basically freeloaded because I no longer paid rent when working part-time. And that he was desperately poor and I had become rich. That’s what it was about.