Community of accrued gains in construction

Counter question: What good is it to you, if (which I wish on no one) it doesn't work out, to have no savings, to never have the work you put in—neither in material nor financial terms—recognized in any way? At some point after a difficult separation, you want/need to stand on your own feet again, and for that, financial security is necessary.

I was in the situation where I had nothing after the separation. (and by nothing, I mean nothing except my clothes!)

It made me stronger ..

For us, it is planned that everyone works 80%. That would be 6.5 hours a day and is perfectly doable for us. However, we have not made it our life’s mission to earn as much money as possible. Time is simply priceless, and if you can get by very well with less income, we are both happy to forgo 500€ or 600€ a month for that. How it will ultimately look when the time comes will be seen then. You often can’t plan everything down to the last detail.

I also know people who have negotiated more vacation instead of a raise simply because it is more important to them to have a few € more in their pocket.

Best regards

Sounds good in theory.
In practice, I know some people well who do exactly that.
The result is that both basically work full-time, the child is in daycare from early morning until evening, and both have no energy for the child in the evenings and on weekends because the job is so stressful.

Of course, it doesn’t have to be that way; it depends on the employer and the type of person, but the risk is definitely there.

Alternative: one stays at home completely at first and then starts again at 50% or so later.

If we were in the private sector, I would agree with you here, but we are both civil servants (don't worry, we really work and don't just cost money). The child would be at the daycare until 1:30 pm, and the parent who starts later would still be home by 4 pm at the latest. You only have stress if you make it for yourself. So keep your eyes open when choosing a career.

That is indeed a different constellation, there is a lot to your last sentence.
It's a solid thing if both of you agree with it.

And during her parental leave, he also paid all her expenses for the car, insurance, etc., and she was free to use her parental allowance as she wished.

Women can be a**holes too..

Of course they can. And how! Only if your acquaintance was so, hmm, let’s call it “generous,” to pay for EVERYTHING, he can hardly complain afterwards, at least regarding the quoted things. She probably didn’t force him to pamper her that much.

I completely agree with , we handle it exactly the way he and his girlfriend do, and our marriage contract contains the nice global waiver, so that in the event of a divorce, both of us come out of the marriage without damage.

I firmly believe that in life you always get back what you have done or given. And if my partner tries to financially take advantage of me, that will catch up with him eventually.

I don’t believe that; you just have to look at some well-known personalities—or even just listen to friends or acquaintances. And honestly: if I end up with nothing, knowing that I was really screwed over, the thought that the person might also experience something bad in 35 years doesn’t really console me.

was, paying her EVERYTHING, at least regarding the quoted things, he can’t complain afterward. She hardly forced him to powder her that much.

The child was conceived together and he also has to take responsibility for the fact that she needs financial support if she earns correspondingly less than before. Personally, I don’t find it bad or wrong at all that he paid it. It’s her "unfair" way that gets on one’s nerves, after he has also done so much for her in addition.

I don’t believe that, you only have to look at some well-known personalities – or just listen to friends or acquaintances. And honestly: If I’m left with nothing, knowing that I’ve really been screwed over, the thought that the person might experience something stupid in 35 years doesn’t really comfort me

It’s not even about something bad happening to the other person, it can also be that something a thousand times better happens to oneself. Just like in my case!