Building a house financially feasible or a pipe dream?

I can’t imagine it either at the parents’ age. I wish everyone that their parents live long. But let’s be honest, up to the age of 75 you are more or less free of complaints and reasonably agile and receive a pension. After that, it means care level 1-3 or the end (really very exaggerated).

Let’s not let my parents hear that: still lively in their mid-70s

They DO NOT HAVE TO pay me rent because I know how hard they worked in their lives, also to enable me to attend school, university, etc. – and I see how modestly they have to live today, although both of them worked over 45 years except for parenting times, and still don’t get a decent pension... I want to give them something back for the fact that I lived at home free of charge until I was 28 while studying.

I think that’s great, your attitude. And yes: it has become very rare, this shared living arrangement with several generations under one roof – one steps in for the other.

Because your parents have the right to live there (whether it is legally valid is irrelevant here, morally they have it), they don’t have to pay anything for rent or similar. That is settled with the house sale to you and the right of residence. They have the right to live with you.

I hope to find good advice, ideas, and opinions about my problem here – and of course I am happy about every contribution that includes constructive criticism


We are married (I’m 35, she’s 30) and have two children (22 and 10 months) and are planning a third child. Currently (2 children) we have about €4,000 net – currently with parental allowance, afterwards rather more when my wife works normally again (probably 2021). What is missing in the meantime is made up for by grandma and grandpa – so €4,000 net is basically certain, from 2021 about €500 more is to be expected.

However: here comes my constructive criticism, and I would bet that others, including you, will complain about it:

In your situation, you should consider carefully before planning a third child. You currently have a household of 6 people to manage, of which one is the main earner, the other, your wife, later working part-time or with not exactly a lavish salary. Hopefully, your parents will still lead a nice life for a long time. Nevertheless, you must be able to afford family members. And decisions have to be made that are influenced by the current living and life situation. You are blessed with two children and fit parents.
I find it too risky to financially jeopardize your future now with a tightly stretched loan corset.

In your or your (plural) situation, one should consider planning a third child.

If you have the choice: great house or third child, then I strongly recommend the third child.

Thank you for the constructive contributions. Even those that may be formulated a bit provocatively, and answered just as provocatively by me – I am still grateful to everyone here for their help.

As mentioned in some posts before, I have actually reached the point where a new building with a separate apartment is theoretically financially feasible (in my view), but a bank would have little to no interest in financing it.

Therefore, I am now leaning more and more towards an extension of the existing house, which in my opinion should be doable with €200,000-€250,000 and will then meet almost all criteria.

I would still have €250,000 MORE to finance than before, but I am still well below the previous figures that apply to new construction...

The old bank no longer grants loans due to the loan-to-value ratio; I have already clarified that. Although I still have an appointment there, nothing is likely to change.

So, removing the VFE from the contracts – that will cost me €190,000 in total. Plus another €230,000 for the extension/conversion, I am at €420,000. I can deduct €30,000 from the building savings contract, a bit more own work, saving a little here and there – and I would need to finance €380,000.

If I want to have that paid off in 30 years at an assumed interest rate of 2.5%, a rate of €1,500 per month would be due. That is what I can probably afford – that would be 33% of net income. And according to my household budget, it is roughly what I am already paying today.

Does that sound more plausible?

If you have the choice: a great house or a third child, then I strongly recommend the third child.

Not me, by the way. (little insider)

I would definitely favor the expansion option. Although no plans have been submitted by you yet, I can well imagine that a capable architect will distribute the living space of the parents, yours + the extension so sensibly that everyone will be happy and no financial disaster is looming.

If you have the choice: great house or third child, then I strongly recommend the third child.

That can be combined perfectly: namely keeping the living situation as it is: 2 children can share a room [emoji2]