I wouldn't know how to save 20k€ with that. The woman would seem suspicious to me.
I strongly suspect that the KfW-70 house is planned monolithically, i.e. without external thermal insulation composite system (ETICS). To reach KfW-55 level, the general contractor can now only offer an insulation facade. So not just a few centimeters more, but wrapping the entire facade specifically for this purpose. That 20k€ is gone very quickly....
Are there also KfW-70 offers with ETICS? The surcharge should rather be 5 to 10k€.
Air-to-water heat pumps are generally more worthwhile the lower the heat demand is.