Planning to build, is it realistic? Young + Equity

Hi,

Whether the relationship with my girlfriend remains or not is supposed to have nothing to do with the house at first.

It was rightly said that something changes with the house. Life experiences an important turning point, and one cannot foresee how far-reaching the consequences will be.
Please don’t forget, such a house cannot be financially managed properly by one person alone; your girlfriend might want/need to contribute something. There are many little things that need to be bought and a ton of work on top as a "bonus".
You are partners, and as mentioned, it can happen that one feels like just a subtenant. That would then be the basis of a possible future conflict. Or the kids crawl around in the neighborhood and awaken desires.

From my point of view, this does have something to do with the house.

@Kermit I meant a house with my ideas.

Okay, that wasn’t so clear.

Kermit

Hello, I would also not expect the girlfriend to have you nicely pay off your house while she has to pay rent. After all, she will surely be setting it up with you, cleaning, taking care of the garden, and in the end, she gets nothing from it. I don’t find that very nice in a relationship. I would rather wait a few years, see how the relationship continues, whether children are planned, etc. You can still build the house then, you are still very young. Regards Sabine

I never said anywhere that she has to pay rent. We currently live in a rented apartment and bought everything separately when acquiring it and noted everything down. Simply so that there are no disputes about who owns what if it doesn't work out. As long as we are not married, I find that completely legitimate.

So the money will definitely not be wasted or spent on useless stuff.

Waste is certainly not the right term, but I wanted to say that a house is consumption.

So you pay for everything. Do you also arrange everything? From the floor plan to kitchen design to the color of the tiles? And if you ever can't agree on something, wouldn't there always somehow be this feeling hanging in the air that it's all "yours" and she has no say...? For some women, that's not a nice feeling. Not to mention that without paying rent, it might look very much like "being put up with," which depending on one's outlook on life is also not pleasant. But with rent comes again the question of what she gets in case of a breakup—she "pays off the house for you" and ends up with nothing...

These do not have to, but can involve massive emotional pitfalls.

Since I don’t see a "we" in your initial post, I assume you are living a near single life. Why? Because in the long run, that’s not a partnership where one person wants to act alone. That raises the question for me: nesting? Alone? Why do you need a house?