I recently had this discussion (reduce flow temperature to 30°C) with our general contractor as well. He said he has to calculate based on 35°C because that is what the standard requires. He must comply with this; otherwise, if the target values are not met in practice, I could take legal recourse. This likely also protects the contractor to some extent, and they are not very keen on building a house optimized to the limit, but their design must correspond to the "rules of technology" and the majority.
However, he added that it would not be a problem to reduce the flow temperature to 32°C – or even down to 30°C in milder winters – the heat pump can easily handle that, he said. He himself runs only 28° with 10cm spacing and we have similar heating loads. Oh yes, we have also planned several square meters of wall heating (heating loops) in the bathrooms, which is why I am now somewhat more relaxed about it.
So I was satisfied for the time being, since the contract entitles me to a turnkey house and I can hardly demand every calculation in detail. Personally, I don’t like it, but unfortunately, that is probably the way it is when building with a general contractor. Before signing, I didn’t really think it could become such a big issue – that is, getting more involved in the planning and construction to "optimize." Nevertheless, I would not have been better off price-wise with individual trades and probably would have had significantly more work with the project than I already do.
If I have understood some posts here correctly, 10cm spacing should be enough to be able to play with the flow temperature. Ultimately, the 35°C then only exists on paper to achieve the target room temperatures, which does not mean that those have to be the personal comfort temperatures (some people prefer only 16°C in the bedroom).