Land and home financing - together or separately?

I find this point very important and it should in my opinion be included in your planning. You are a civil servant but your wife works in the private sector, if I understand correctly? I am not very risk-tolerant and would therefore never assume the optimum. You never know what the future holds. My fiancé was diagnosed with cancer in his mid-40s last year. If he were not a civil servant and could not work 100% from home if necessary, we would definitely have suffered financial losses and thus significant problems. Just as a negative example, Our house is still not finished due to significant construction delays and we have had unplanned additional costs as a result. There are so many uncertainties, especially with building a house, that I would personally calculate more conservatively, so that in an extreme emergency you could at least manage everything temporarily on one salary. Just a well-meaning piece of advice.

That is correct. What do you mean by managing everything with one salary? Like really the mortgage payment plus all living expenses? Then almost no one can build nowadays :D

That is correct. What do you mean by covering everything with a salary? Like really the installment plus the entire living expenses? Then almost no one can build anymore nowadays :D

I mean the installment plus at least something for food. Yes, building is not really cheap these days, especially not in our region

I also noticed something: you mentioned a house model with a price further above. You also have to reckon with the provider that additional costs will arise for you, even without significant upgrades. The advertised house prices are very rarely the final prices.

Are you sure that Bavaria gives you money to build a house in Hesse? That seems absurd to me. The idea of raising the hours after you have the money in the bag also seems a bit too simplistic to me, but maybe it is really that simple. However, I think the point about one salary is nonsense. No one nowadays can afford a house on one salary. If you plan like that, you might as well stop. So, if we assume you only get one grant and then add something to the house price for interior furnishings, additional wishes, carport/garage, terrace, garden... then we're quickly talking about a 3,500-4,000 EUR rate. Unfortunately, that is the reality at the moment. Aren't 130m² enough?

I also don't think that everything necessarily has to be paid from one salary.

But I still think you're approaching it too naively. Just assume that you don't want to work 2x full-time with a small child – it will be stressful enough as it is. 2x full-time works only as long as everything runs "normally," meaning the daycare doesn't close, the child isn't sick, etc. Yes, even with grandparents, because they don't always have time either. I know this quite well from our own experience; we managed well with a total of 1.5 jobs, then you still have enough time to handle all the doctor appointments, daycare drop-offs/pick-ups, children's playdates, training days at the daycare, other "staff shortage, please pick up at noon" stuff, and so on. It still gets stressful sometimes, but stress is not a permanent state.

If you assume 1.5 jobs in your case and let the higher earner work full-time, you get about 6k net. For that, a 3k installment would be too much for me. We are currently in a similar situation due to parental leave and ongoing renovation with double burden: income including child benefits etc. 6.2k, 1.9k installment, 1.2k rent – yeah, it works, but preferably not as a permanent state, especially if you want to build reserves for the house.

Above all, you haven't addressed the question why you need 170 sqm and why it can't be smaller. We have 180 for four people and that is huge...

Are you sure that Bavaria gives you money to build a house in Hesse? Sounds absurd to me. The idea of increasing the hours after you have the money in the bag also seems a bit too simply thought out, but maybe it really is that simple. However, I think the point about one salary is nonsense. Nowadays no one can afford a house with just one income. Anyone planning like that might as well give up. So if we assume you only get one subsidy and there’s still extra costs on top of the house price for interior, additional wishes, carport/garage, terrace, garden... then we’re quickly talking about a 3,500-4,000 EUR monthly payment. Unfortunately, that’s the reality at the moment. Isn’t 130m² enough?

The money in Bavaria is called Familiengeld and has nothing to do with building a house. Every child in Bavaria automatically receives it from the 13th to the 36th month, and it is 250€/month. We have an appointment with the financial advisor tonight, let’s see what he tells us. Ideally, the income limits for family support will be increased soon, which might also reduce the monthly payment depending on the situation.

First of all, you still haven't addressed the question of why you need 170sqm and why it can't be smaller. We have 180 for four people and that's already huge...

Why do some people need a 350sqm villa? Maybe there's going to be more children, or everyone gets their own office/hobby room. If the 170sqm doesn't work out in the end, then it just doesn't work.