At the Fraunhofer Institute for Building Physics, you can read quite a bit about the aging behavior of ETICS. In a summary of a study from last year, more optical than technical defects are mentioned, which only occur after 20 years. It is beyond doubt that the material has proven itself.
I have the stuff for insulating the concrete foundations. On the visible spots, we had the surface finished with plaster. The plaster on the ETICS facade is quite sensitive to impact and attaching something to this wall is a nuisance. First the brittle plaster, then the soft ETICS, and behind it the hard concrete wall.
The building materials used have not only a technical but also an emotional component for many people. We built with wood and receive shaking heads here and there because the material is considered less durable. If I were to build solidly, I would definitely prefer the monolithic variant rather than ETICS. Mich reminds me too much of a Tupperware box – please take this as a subjective statement and not offensive. Technically, all these variants work. What is important is that you feel comfortable in your own house, and it makes sense to also deal with your own preferences and prejudices and take them into account.