House purchase planning - but completely uncertain

That's why my advice is to buy a property that matches your income/consumption behavior. And that according to the changed life situation (children).

It's always the same in the forum, young people with very good incomes without equity who have financed 5 cars and then want to build XXXXL and are not willing to change their situation.

My friend also wants to buy now. 4,000 net with his wife, a little equity. They have now, as I think, found a suitable property. House 220k purchase price and renovations that he wants to do himself continuously.
That fits for me

There was nowhere here any mention of "building XXXXL". No idea where you got that from.

I know, I absolutely agree with that.

But HilfeHilfe just has this way of IMMEDIATELY subtly accusing anyone who has a good income but little equity of having probably lived a luxurious life so far and definitely not being able to manage well in case of homeownership. He apparently doesn't even properly read the posts of the various thread starters, which often already explain why things happened the way they did. So that's just presumptuous.
I won’t even start on the fact that he constantly wants to tell other people that they are underpaid and should definitely apply elsewhere.

I am a banker, father, owner, and come from humble beginnings. My wife and I have built what we have now. Back when it was about buying a house or not – maybe something smaller and cheaper and live on that – many laughed at me. We now have a semi-detached house, will be finished in 11 years without special repayments. This year 14 days in the Caribbean, Christmas 10 days in the sun. Had 2 children. A new car is coming up. Colleagues from Rhein Main made exactly the mistake the OP is making. Very good income, xxxl house at an xxxl price. Now they complain. Can't afford a vacation, what 2 kids? Can't afford that. Oh, you have it good. BUT I only have 10 minutes from the xxxxl house to the office. See what I mean? Someone who has consumed and lived puts everything on the line with such a plan. Even the relationship. Not everyone wastes their money on family matters. But sorry, that also belongs to the level of maturity. The wife works in finance at the utility provider. I think it’s Süwag in Höchst. So she should have an overview of finances. No way! I'm not here to be a cuddly bear but will always show up the way I think is right. Either you accept the criticism or not

It's all well and good if you've found the right path for yourself. You don't have to list all the things you supposedly can buy (a new car is btw the biggest money sink there is). But haven't you noticed: You say you sacrificed before and now live. Others lived before and are sacrificing now/after buying a house. What gives you the right to see your version as the better, superior one?

It also remains that you
- don't read posts correctly (not necessarily in this thread, but it has been noticed more often) and therefore ask questions that have long been clarified
- make accusations (XXL house, which was never mentioned)
- want to tell strangers that they will never be able to live more frugally
- put ideas into strangers' heads that they are poorly paid
- cannot imagine that not only "luxury" is responsible if one couldn't save much despite a good income.

That's simply presumptuous. You just impose your preconceived opinion on all newcomers. Whether it fits, you think about afterwards (or not at all).

Childhood was a working-class family. We analyzed our requirements and built according to our ideas!