House found - financing possible?

It's a new car every year. Of course I can reduce that, but a used car also costs a lot of money for repairs when something happens.

Normally, I would also say, at least switch her to a cheap small used car that is paid in cash. But you don't exactly have that money right now, and since our cash-paid used car just came back from the workshop, I don't find leasing modern vehicles all that bad at the moment...

A passenger car without commercial use has an optimal holding period of four years (fleet entry as a three-year-old, resale as a seven-year-old). Leasing a new car for 12 months is unbeatable expensive. Even for courier vehicles, an increased "sick leave" rate is only calculated from the fourth year (starting from new acquisition).

During my first registration period, which I then had to extend beyond parental leave because no daycare place was available (legal entitlement or not), we had significantly less money, but that was foreseeable and therefore manageable.

From the legal entitlement, I would infer that the care provider must also pay for the substitute performance (?)

There is an exposé from 3 years ago.

Why – was there already a change of ownership (and an appraisal ?) back then?

A car without commercial use has an optimal holding period of four years (fleet inclusion at three years old, resale at seven years old). Leasing a new car for 12 months is unbelievably expensive. Even for courier vehicles, one calculates an increased "sick leave" only from the fourth year (from new acquisition).

From the legal claim, I would infer that the care provider would also have to pay for substitute performance (?)

Why - has there already been a change of ownership (and an expert report)?

There is no expert report. There is an appraisal by a realtor commissioned by the current owner.
The seller is separating from his wife and moving away. We learned about this through a friend and got involved. He gave us until this Sunday to consider it with the note that he would sell it directly to us for €329,000. Otherwise, he will give it to a realtor.

Just do it. You might be struggling with the long duration now. But if you don't do it, you will forever blame yourself. If you have to regret something, better because you took a risk, not because you hesitated (loosely after Peter Ustinov).

But go renegotiate the terms again next week... in principle, it should become at least slightly cheaper after today's interest rate decision.

4.5% for 30! years is not bad.

And if something breaks down during the 4-year holding period, you're screwed. No more warranty, and usually no goodwill either.
I really don't envy anyone who buys my worn-out Seat with >100,000 km after 3 years of return.

The advantage of leasing is that I don't have to worry about repairs or set aside money for them.
I once had a taxi driver who told me that he only buys new cars because of the warranty and the MOT only after 3 years. Everything else was unpredictable for him.

PS:
And I always drive a current car with the latest safety standards. That shouldn't be underestimated either.