Construction financing, construction costs - will this work?

sorry if I come across a bit aggressive here. We also had the strong wish that grandma/grandpa would have a grandchild day every 2-4 weeks (with overnight stay). Grandpa got sick, which ruined that.

My wife had professional problems after the second child (change of management, a woman who is childless and will remain so). One home office was canceled, after one year of part-time commuting of similar extent, we are trying to separate amicably.

Somehow I recognize myself in you.

That's life, two bombs that ruined our rosy plans.

Therefore, I advise everyone to reflect and organize your life. Best not to rely on relatives/friends. Prepare a Plan B, what if.

Just a piece of advice.

PS: we now have a babysitter, a new job in sight nearby, waiting for the severance pay.

Thank you for your openness. I believe things can always turn out differently than expected. You’re not involved in so many things...

In the family circle, we recently had the case where my cousin, aged 34, suddenly passed away without any prior illness. She lived with her husband and child in a purchased house on the outskirts of Munich (still relatively expensive). Both commuted simply one hour every day. Now the dad is left alone with his almost 3-year-old son. Family at least 350 km away, etc.

It’s cruel how life sometimes plays out.

But you can’t protect yourself against everything. I realize that you never have any guarantee for anything, even remotely. But because of that, not daring any more...

I don’t want to come across as reckless. I know that in the past, let’s say the last 2 years after university, we spent way too much money. But for me/us, the decision to take out a loan is certainly not easy.

Don't let anyone talk you into anything. You haven't overspent. You studied hard and afterwards lived well with your earned salary. I think that's perfectly fine.
Have you already been asked how you got the property? Bought, gifted, etc.?

You only have an idea so far. So you definitely still have about a year to save equity. Just try to save a lot during this time. You don't snap your fingers and suddenly have the plan and the house.
Start with that now and make a bank appointment in February. By then, you will have figured out your possible savings rate.
And by then, you will be clear about what is possible on the property and plan the layout with the experts here.

Then you can calmly look ahead.

Just really look closely at how much free money you actually keep afterwards with the whole family. Oh, and 24 months of parental leave means you only get half the amount of parental allowance monthly. For this reason, I was only at home with the child for 10 months and my husband for 4 months. That worked out great for us and we will do the same with number 2.
Our son also stays with grandma and grandpa every other weekend. They are happy about the little rascal and we enjoy the free time we spend on the house. I don’t find that bad at all. By the way, children used to always be with the older generations while mom and dad worked in the fields.
Part-time doesn’t necessarily have to mean your wife only works 20 hours. Maybe you’re fine with 30 hours a week. It could be that financially it hardly makes any difference.

Without knowledge, I would claim it too. Only electricians registered with a VNB are allowed to work on the electrical system. The first mistakes already start when laying the cables.

This has nothing to do with this topic, but please do not spread half-truths! I laid all the cables myself, connected them, hung the electrical cabinet, and completely wired everything myself. An electrical master then performed the inspection, measured everything, and sealed it; it cost 250€ and took about 2 hours.

Anyone who is not brain-dead and knows which cross-section is needed for which application, length, blah blah blah, can actually lay cables. You should know what you’re doing with the meter cabinet, but it’s not rocket science either.

This has nothing to do with this topic, but please don't spread half-truths! I laid all the cables myself, connected them, hung up the electrical cabinet, and completely wired everything myself. An electrical master then did the inspection, measured everything, and sealed it; it cost €250 and took about 2 hours.

Laying cables is something basically anyone can do who isn't dumb and knows which cross-section you need for which application, length, blah blah blah. When it comes to the meter cabinet, you should know what you're doing, but it's not rocket science.

Then you'd better read the legislation about what you are allowed to do. Paraphrasing Dieter Nuhr.......

Anyone can work on it, as long as the registered master signs off on it. [emoji6]