That may possibly have come across incorrectly. Moreover, the woman is not supposed to do anything at all; she actively participates in the decision.
For my wife, the surrounding area with little commuting appears better than, for example, for me – although I also find my route acceptable. The other workplaces would, of course, involve salary reductions but also lower travel costs. Lower income, however, comes at the expense of pension contributions.
In short, my wife would certainly change employers sooner or later anyway.
Regarding the topic of grandparents (why am I even justifying myself?), what is wrong with including them partially or in bottlenecks in the care, especially since they really wish to do so. No one is saying that the grandparents should raise the grandchildren.
If we carry out our plan, close relatives (from both sides) live within a 15 km radius. The circle of friends, incidentally, also, and partly reachable on foot.
The new environment is more rural, which I personally find nicer than the city. Also with regard to children.
The only downside from our point of view is, as already mentioned, my wife’s commuting and the employer change, if and when children arrive. We still have to reflect and consider other possibilities.
Otherwise, the location is simply too perfect to let this chance pass: about 30 km to the town sign of Frankfurt, property prices are rising enormously here and new building land is constantly being developed. Daycare & elementary school in town, secondary school 3 km further. There are still fields and forests, a butcher and baker as well as shopping facilities.
Incidentally, I do not see the proximity to our parents only as an advantage in terms of caring for our children but especially when they themselves can no longer manage, you are nearby and can mow the lawn or do laundry with them or simply allow them to maintain themselves a little longer. After all, they have done a lot for me as well.