Buying a house: realistic or are we overextending ourselves?

Do you actually ever stop to reflect on what you’re putting out here? Seychelles... with 5,000 net and a new build. Keep dreaming...

When I hear such statements, I always wonder whether the "wellness hotel" is really the horror or if one simply cannot or does not want to afford it and therefore does not feel belonging.

So with "cannot afford" it certainly has nothing to do with a household income of 8000 € net, a house paid off for 10 years, and savings of over 1 million, but with "does not want to afford," yes. And I do not feel belonging, that’s true. Why should I want to feel belonging to a group that embodies so much that I find unimportant or annoying?
I often understand relaxation differently than many other people. I don’t like hotels, I want to live my own daily routine, independent of meal times. I want to be able to go out, have space, nature, peace, as few people around me as possible, especially no sauna, no pool, no massages, ...
My sister-in-law once raved about her Aida cruise, how relaxed everything is, and you don’t have to think about anything except what to wear in the evening ... that is exactly the last thing I want to think about.

I actually wonder too, that by now it has almost become a reflexive duty to take one or more expensive hotel trips every year and at the same time also own a house, go skiing of course, and once do wellness....

My personal theory is still, and increasingly so, that the partly ingrained attitude of "having it better once" leads to considering this normal. That is more difficult, the better it already was from the start. Our most expensive holidays are those with less memorable but greatest relaxation value. Having someone wait on you at a high level for a week all the way to the sauna relaxes immensely but costs. I rather associate great memories with camping at the North Sea, fishing, or surprisingly business trips abroad. I arrive at my above-mentioned theory because during my studies, as the first academic in the family, I actually felt pressure to create an even more amazing life than the already good life of my parents. I feel much better since I recognized that and put it into the mental drawer with the bad ideas.

My sister-in-law once raved about her Aida cruise, how relaxed everything is, and you don’t have to worry about anything except what to wear in the evening ... that is exactly the last thing I want to worry about.

Well, it can also be stressful to plan the day trip optimally on your own. Hehe. With AIDA, clothing plays a rather minor role. (Please don’t take the quoted statement personally, it was just the last thing to read here.)

But here it’s about costs. How someone spends their vacation, finds the best relaxation, fulfills their wishes or broadens their horizons is individual and should not be judged.
If money is tight after building a house, then this savings rate is simply easier to dissolve than the living expenses.

Not infrequently, builders do not find themselves in the role of enjoying the garden, perhaps working more on their days off rather than taking a break (nice beach or foreign city), but think they continue their apartment life. The fact that freedom to do something, or the pampering or sports program is now to be found in one’s own four walls or in the garden may be a process.
By the way, you don’t need to spend money or travel far for (special) memories.
For foreign impressions, more likely yes, because services, transport and/or accommodation cost money. Whether you travel to a winter vacation for sports and après-ski, rent a camper for optimal freedom, or are drawn to distant beaches (list not exhaustive) – money is always needed, more or less. All-inclusive or freely planned.

Whether one has to or feels obliged to their family to “treat” themselves, in addition to the house?
Wellness and sports can also be done in your own surroundings by going to the indoor pool, having a massage, then relaxing at home in the tub or on the garden lounger. I can also plan the Way of St. James myself by running, a rare cosmetic treatment or a trip to a nearby bathing lake, thrills in the pulse of the nearest big city ... This is all nothing to be ashamed of and possible and doable.
Who spends money on what when cash is flowing again is up to each individual.
However, it is incomprehensible if someone indulges in an expensive and unnecessary vacation and afterwards does not know how to pay for the expensive repair of the family car. But a builder should also be able to make mature decisions here.

Actually, you can really easily go on vacation far away with toddlers and babies. For example, we were in Mexico with our twins when they were 1.5 years old.
One advantage of vacationing abroad (further away) is that the child-friendliness is completely different than in the stiff and often very child-unfriendly domestic environment.

That's exactly how it is!!! The beach at the North Sea is just as good as on the Seychelles (even if at those temperatures nobody here wants to swim in the North Sea - lol).

I do not doubt that Mexico is beautiful. But for that, I’m not going to endure a long flight and then I wouldn’t be able to immerse myself in the local nature and society anyway, because the children are my priority and don’t see any point in it in any case. I also don’t see that people in Germany are child-unfriendly, no matter where they originally come from. Everything has its time. Other stages of life are better suited for long-distance travel. I have also realized one thing for myself: With small children, you learn to appreciate small things like flowers, forests, streams, etc. much more again. If I had the choice between vacationing on a farm domestically where my children can snack on a box of blueberries every day if they want, or having to do without that so I can afford the long flight, then I would know how I would decide. But I also have to say: The more urban you live, the more you might feel the need to see something different. Simply because in a confined everyday life without a garden, meadows, and forests, calmness and the feeling of relaxation may get lost.

I also don’t see that people in Germany are hostile to children.

Hostile to children is a strong expression, but compared to other countries, Germany is definitely near the bottom when it comes to child-friendliness. All the couples who have decided against having children, and there are quite a few, often perceive children as disturbing. It still often feels like children are perceived as unpleasant and loud by the generation that is now retiring. Subjectively, it is rather the 80+ people who are unreservedly happy about children. Recently, we also had a discussion at work about the advantages that, for example, part-time working mothers have. They have priority for work in the mornings and holidays during school breaks. The non-children faction very clearly states that it is unfair that they have to suffer because the mothers "tie children to their leg" and therefore more often get the worse shifts. That exactly these children will later have to earn their pension or care for these people is completely irrelevant. Where else in the world are noise-generating devices built in public places that emit an unpleasant frequency for children and adolescents but can no longer be heard by the elderly? Or in a former new development area, complaints are made about the "kindergarten noise," although the adjacent plots were sold cheaper precisely for this reason?