Buying a house: realistic or are we overextending ourselves?

I have to say though: the more urban you live, the more you might feel the need to see something different. Simply because in the cramped everyday life without a garden, meadows, and forests, the peace and feeling of relaxation may get lost.

I absolutely cannot confirm that. Cities offer more variety, even in nature. The more rural people I know hardly know their own area, and when they leave the house, they get into a car to go somewhere. City dwellers more often take a bike or go on foot and thus see very diverse things. I am always amazed that people like to fly around the world but really take nothing away from it afterward. "Iceland was so great! The nature is really overwhelming." Only to have a pizza delivered and continue consuming cheerfully. I myself could not afford big trips. Out of "necessity," I have learned to keep my eyes open in my own surroundings. Then you don’t even need a vacation anymore. By now, I don’t miss it at all. At work, I only see people coming back from (long-distance) vacations who are basically stressed or tired again after just one week. I believe society has taught us that traveling belongs to life and that we are supposed to enjoy it. I once worked in a hospice. None of the dying ever really said: how good that I went to New Zealand 40 years ago. That is why I find all the travel fuss hugely overrated and am glad I could escape the "pressure." I take small bike trips and visit friends. I try to travel "door to door." That is then the challenge for me.

Actually, you can really travel abroad without any problems with toddlers and babies. For example, we were in Mexico with our twins when they were 1.5 years old.
One advantage of a (more distant) foreign holiday is that the child-friendliness is completely different than in the stiff and often very child-unfriendly homeland.

But you must have made yourself quite unpopular with the fellow travelers. Long-haul flights with crying children are really awful.

That includes us too, ski holidays, wellness a couple of times all inclusive, last year about 15k spent on vacations and that didn’t even include any long-distance trips... Vacations are extremely important to us, memories last forever, I’m happy to spend money on that

So for us there is once a year 3-4 weeks South America instead of the ski holiday (skiing is too dangerous and too cold for me) and in late summer one week Mallorca in a 5-star hotel. But did the OP buy the house now?

We are married and will both be owners, although I’m not sure if there are smarter arrangements? The meeting with the bank is scheduled for next week.

I track all costs for our cars, but car no. 2 is relatively new and so far there have been no repairs; I still need to increase the value there for a plausible expense overview, you are right about that.

We have already established the food expenses. Vacation costs seem about right, €2100 for 10 days in a holiday park in Holland, 2 couples, so €1050 per couple. On site, we are self-caterers.

Regarding food: we bake our own bread, so we eat a lot of bread accordingly. My wife loves pasta, rice with vegetables, etc. I simply think that we eat cheaply... But as already mentioned, I have estimated the food costs higher.

If you take depreciation into account, you won’t drive a car for less than €500 per month.... Otherwise, the loan rate should not be higher than 1/3 of the net income, then it works fine.

If you take depreciation into account, you don't drive a car for less than 500€ a month.... Otherwise, the loan installment should not be more than 1/3 of the net income, then it works

Not a new German car. A Romanian one, yes, and used cars as well. Especially in recent years, used car prices have exploded so much that with younger used cars you practically had no depreciation (except, of course, if you drive a lot, which is individually very different). However, this does not necessarily have to happen again in the coming years.

I do not doubt that Mexico is beautiful. But I won’t take a long-haul flight for that, and I wouldn’t be able to immerse myself in the local nature and society anyway, because the children are my priority and they don’t see any point in it in any case.

One does not exclude the other. If I like Mexico, use the language, and enjoy life, I can also afford a vacation there once in a while. However, I believe I should not make the vacation only for the children since they don’t need to rest from working life yet; that’s still to come. Also, I wouldn’t expect my children to see any meaning in something they neither know nor can assess at their age. At the travel agency, I have often experienced that ultimately the children decided the vacation destination or type of holiday, which I always found completely bizarre. I also think children should be introduced to certain things that are important for their development; they can’t do that on their own. We have been to Arab or sometimes African countries and not stayed in enclosed resorts. There, they learned with us to move freely, and when I look at it today, I tell myself that something has stuck with them from that.
I absolutely agree with you, yet I also understand the other side, even though they contradict each other. But it is different when people believe they can buy more satisfaction or development for their children through long flights or expensive trips. Those who stay "at home" are by no means worse off.

All the couples who decided against having children, and there are quite a few, often find children disturbing.

That is too generalized for me, and yes, even my wife as a teacher finds loud children and their parents unpleasant, especially on vacation. We have long since finished our parental leave and also like it quiet. Yesterday a family with children visited, and that was really nice. Sometimes someone comes along, and you are glad when they leave or simply don’t invite them anymore because the children make a pleasant afternoon impossible; why would I like that?
There should be areas where adults’ needs are not disturbed or where children simply have no business unless they can behave accordingly—I don’t see why that shouldn’t be possible. I would never disturb a child at play. Children rarely bother me anyway; mostly it’s the parents.
Actually, I have no understanding for parents of children to whom no boundaries are set at all, including regarding noise; declaring this as child hostility misses the point in my opinion.
When we went somewhere with our children (vacation, visits, restaurants...), we as parents always made sure that no one at the next table was disturbed by us or the children. I found and still find that completely normal and also social because the other person does not want to be disturbed by me.