Realistic monthly rate

We are also a 3-person household & have built a prefabricated house with 145sqm. Outdoor facilities will be done in 2017. Overall with all expenses we are at +/- 340,000€. Equity was similar to yours (about 10,000€ more). Total income also nearly identical.

That was an absolute pain threshold for us. Because one salary can sometimes be lost (longer illness etc pp) or unexpected expenses can arise.

165 sqm is of course quite a number. I mean we also have such a big house that will be built from January, but there have to be 4 people living in it + occasionally 2 children from the first marriage. We increased the house by half a meter and paid a quick 6k more for that. If you reduce about 20 sqm there, it should get quite a bit cheaper. Then it also depends on how the outdoor facilities look. We did not factor them in because they will only be done once the money for them is available again. But it works for us too. We also wanted to take the kitchen with us at first. But then the renovation prices (new countertops) shot our purchase budgets out. So it was more worthwhile to buy a new one and sell the old one.

Child already goes to daycare, the house is currently planned to be 165 sqm. I think that is where the biggest leverage to lower the price is.

Why don't you go to the Ideenfindung forum and post the architect-designed house, of course with anonymized data. With the completed questionnaire and desired nice-to-haves, the creative minds here might be able to spot some things that can be easily cut - even cutting now might be very difficult for you because you have gotten used to the design.

We also wanted to take the kitchen with us at first. But then the renovation costs (new countertops) knocked out our purchasing rails. So it was more worthwhile to buy a new one and sell the old one.

So a homemade pressed chipboard kitchen countertop is done with 200€. If you want something proper with granite or similar, it becomes quite expensive both old and new respectively.

On a €70,000 plot of land, a €400,000 house with those incomes seems wildly exaggerated to me. A reasonable house with all the bells and whistles also exists for €300,000, and that is already nicely rounded up and with some extras. With the plot and equity, you then reach regions that are also well affordable with the salary.

so a laminated countertop made yourself costs around €200. if you want something proper with granite or similar, it gets pretty expensive both old and new.

Well, it's not that simple. In my house, I also want a kitchen that doesn't look cobbled together. In other words, I have to make sure that the wood tones or similar match. Ideally, you get the countertop and the filling cabinets from the same manufacturer. And they really charge you well for these individual parts.

OT: I have to praise Ikea as a kitchen provider again, because you simply dismantle it, supplement it to fit the new location for a fair, transparent price and are happy with it. Ideal for moving. Countertops always come new anyway, which kitchen fits 1:1 into another property.