Where does the envy come from? Yes, they will, because the shortage of skilled workers remains. Where does the nightmare scenario of a deindustrialized country come from - with you, it sounds like 100% set. Maybe read less Bild and spread less panic. There are big economic policy challenges, but that doesn’t mean we’ll be deindustrialized in 10 years. There are also many more well-paying companies than the four or five you know. There are also top industries outside of automotive and Siemens.
Basically, I also recommend not to restrict yourself too narrowly with the annuity. With two full salaries it's easy to manage, but children change a lot, also in personal prioritization. In the end, you might both want to go down to 30 hours – because you can definitely afford it / could afford it.
No envy, I myself work at one of these companies and know both the banking sector and the automotive industry from the inside. Therefore, I also know that for the salary you can get as a simple clerk at a Landesbank or at the car manufacturer, you have to be a department head at the Sparkasse or at a small supplier. But then there’s nothing like 4 days of home office, let alone working time recording or overtime pay. Anyone who seriously believes that 4-5k net for regular hours and 35-40h mostly home office is common in Germany has lost touch with reality. Yes, that exists and in economically strong regions (basically Munich, Frankfurt, Stuttgart) it’s not even that rare. But that is a small bubble, nothing more. And when one of the big ones gradually shuts down the operation (what has actually become of Hoechst, Opel, ThyssenKrupp, various Landesbanken, etc.?), nobody waits for the forty-something corporate bureaucrat who spent 20 years using political tricks to keep work away from himself. As an employer who hires, I wouldn’t touch them with a pair of tweezers; unfortunately, the work ethic and attitude are very poor for many. Yes, it doesn’t have to come to that and hopefully it won’t. But it’s worth giving a thought to the fact that things can go downhill and you won’t stay as flexible forever as you are in your early 30s. Then you also have to be mentally and financially prepared to make do with the salary of an average earner (that’s then 2-3k net, not 4-5).
And no, people well over 60 are the exception both in banking and in the automotive sector. Usually, people retire / take partial retirement at around 60 because a) they can afford it, b) they no longer really can / want to, and c) the employer incentivizes early exit via partial retirement, etc. Yes, the pension then has deductions, but there is also unemployment benefit and reserves (severance pay, savings, etc.) to live on (private income). It doesn’t matter whether it’s Daimler or Commerzbank. Sooner or later everyone is out / lets themselves go.
It’s also clear that preferences shift over time and the air gets thinner the higher you get. Maybe it’s not even the employer who no longer wants you. Maybe you want to reorient yourself and that then only goes at worse conditions. Anyone who commits to a high rate (without the corresponding equity in the background) is quickly unnecessarily trapped in a golden cage and hamster wheel.
If you’re a tenured judge who’s found your dream job – by all means. But if you work in the private sector, you always have to factor in professional setbacks.