House construction project with terrible credit rating and almost zero equity capital :-)

that can happen quickly. Triplets, all in some way with a "defect" from a previous relationship. If everything then goes well and is well organized, why not have another child afterwards? Since his wife could even do a mini-job, they seem to manage everything well. Number 5 seems to have been rather unplanned But that can be managed too. Therefore, I would be very careful with a judgment. I can understand your thoughts, but you are simply not in their shoes.

: no, they are not misusing it. I think the money is paid out for full-time care at home. It is also intended to design and maintain the living space in such a way that the disability can be cared for. If, for example, that means financing a single-story dwelling, it may be used for that. What is not allowed is the luxury limousine for mom’s 30th birthday. They have to justify it.

Otherwise on the subject: I can very well understand that you want to get out of there with your children. I felt the same with our little one and we had a 120 sqm apartment! Look for a rental house. You have a better chance of getting something as a large family. Otherwise, save diligently what you can and look for an existing house that you can renovate.
Acquaintances had a similar situation. 6 children, one with a very severe disability a horse, 3 dogs, 2 cats and a turtle. They bought an old barn and made a very nice house out of it. You can see that no professional was involved, but there is a lot of love in it and they feel comfortable. But, if I understood correctly, it was quite a bureaucratic nightmare to get this barn approved as a residence.

I understood it as the children are all biological, but unfortunately some need care... this is apparently provided by the mother, hence the care allowance. So no adopted foster children who are kept on bread and water to siphon off money...

I take my hat off to you for trying to put your youthful mistakes right. Chapeau that you have almost made it. If your dream is to come true, the next step is to save properly; during that time your credit score will also automatically improve, provided you don't accumulate new problems. In three years, with 60-70k€ starting capital and a significantly better credit score, you can look further. But I also think it's better to look for existing properties and renovate in parallel... May I ask where the area is? That is not unimportant regarding the price level, and also whether you can find any properties at all.

In my opinion, however, quite clearly: for the moment absolutely keep your feet still, save, save, save. First get solidly back on your feet financially, and then you can look further!!!

Well, I knew that such an unqualified, emotional rubbish would come. Actually, I shouldn’t even deal with it. But I don’t want to leave these accusations unanswered.

For me, this is a really typical deliberate groundwork for the next debt trap.
That’s how my daughter reacts now at 3 years old; now I want it no matter what is and was.

Let it be, get your life under control first, because if the debts are only paid off now, it will take 3 years until the Schufa is cleared. In the meantime, you can save.

“now I want it no matter what is” Exactly, and that’s why I’m asking here, what’s going on...
We have our life under control, no worries. Only in the last line could you contribute something constructive – congratulations and thank you.

Hello, is this a "fake thread"? Apart from the fact that you cannot afford this and won’t be able to, I find it questionable that you have embezzled the care allowance so far.

Also, I find it negligent that you soon have 5 children and live with them (including 2 foster children) in such a small space. Won’t you be checked by the youth welfare office or similar authorities?

Nothing is being embezzled here – please unload your slanderous rubbish elsewhere. No authority needs to check anything here – our children are doing wonderfully. See below.

You seriously want to misuse the care allowance for your foster children to build equity. Specifically, you talk about saving 2.6k. That means you are planning for a seven-member family with 2.9k as living expenses including rent. Minus rent, you are operating at Hartz IV level. I feel infinitely sorry for your children, because that means that especially they have to be saved on.

We currently manage very well with 2.9–3.2k per month. Our children get proper food, are active in sports clubs, some go horseback riding, some can partially read before they start school, we go on vacation 1–2 times a year / to the mountains to relatives, go to the beach more often, build fun things in the basement. There is plenty of toy as well. Our children’s daycare/school friends come and go here. My wife and I are very modest, have no expensive hobbies, don’t smoke or drink. We sleep in the living room so that the children have one or two rooms to themselves. So our children do not need to be “infinitely pitied” by you. Should we refuse the care allowance in your opinion or not even apply for it, though it is rightfully ours? Or... should we take more vacations? Should we give it away?
Or should we perhaps look to improve our living situation before it really becomes tight?

I will refer to the factual posts this evening or tomorrow. Many thanks so far for these!

Sorry, but what did you expect? You should probably have chosen a somewhat higher level of abstraction for the description of your income / living situation. Sure, most will hold back, but some just can’t manage it and it was just too much of an invitation. But on the subject: Building is simply unrealistic with the income and the number of people. Care allowance will not be recognized by banks as disposable income for a property financing, the rest is eaten up by the living expense allowances. If you really are such a jack-of-all-trades, can do everything, have endless time and energy (besides the certainly not to be underestimated family challenges), then buy a big fixer-upper and renovate it. It seems to me that wish and reality are somewhat diverging here. From one day to the next you will turn from 'youthful sinners' into exemplary savers with a four-digit amount monthly. I don’t quite believe that. I would probably try to somehow get a bigger rental property. Everything else is unrealistic. Even the option of renovating an existing property ends with a quite considerable probability in burnout, after all a man is just a man.

That just doesn’t work for the money, no matter where. How or where are you supposed to completely build a six-bedroom house for that money?

You are on the right path to free yourselves from your problems, so don’t create new ones right away. Find a bigger place to rent and keep paying off your debts or save up a good amount afterwards. Maybe in a few years there will be a nice existing property for you.

PS: also take a look at the topic of "contraception"

Sorry, but what did you expect?
You probably should have chosen a slightly higher level of abstraction for the description of your income / life situation. Sure, most will hold back, but some can’t manage and it was just too obvious.

But on the topic: building is simply unrealistic with the income and number of people. Care allowance will not be recognized by banks as disposable income for property financing, the rest goes into the lump sums for living expenses.
If you really are such a jack-of-all-trades, can do everything, have endless time and energy (besides the certainly not to be underestimated family challenges), then buy a big fixer-upper and renovate it.

It seems to me that wish and reality are somewhat apart here.
From one day to the next you will turn from 'youthful sinners' into exemplary savers with four-digit monthly savings.
I don’t really believe that.

I would probably try to somehow get a bigger rental property.
Everything else is unrealistic.
Even the option of renovating an existing property ends with a quite significant probability in burnout, after all, a man is just a man.

Well, I knew that such unqualified, emotional rubbish would come. Actually, I shouldn’t even bother with it. But I don’t want to leave these accusations unanswered.

"now I want it no matter what" Exactly, and that’s why I’m asking here what is possible...
We have our life under control, don’t worry. Only in the last line could you contribute something constructive – congratulations and thanks.

Nothing is being embezzled here – please unload your slanderous rubbish elsewhere. There is no need for any office to check anything here – our children are doing wonderfully. See below.

We currently manage very well with 2.9-3.2 per month. Our children get proper food, are active in sports clubs, sometimes go horseback riding, some can already read before they start school, we go on vacation 1-2 times a year / to the mountains to relatives, go to the beach often, build fun stuff in the basement. Toys are also plentiful. Our children’s daycare / school friends come and go here regularly. My wife and I are very modest, have no expensive hobbies, don’t smoke or drink. We sleep in the living room so the children have a room alone or in pairs. So you do not have to feel "infinitely sorry" for our children. Should we reject the care allowance in your opinion or not even apply for it if we are entitled to it? Or... should we take even more vacations? Should we just give it away?
Or maybe we should look to improve our living situation before it really gets tight?

I will respond to the factual posts this evening or tomorrow. Thanks so far for these!

Yes, with 5.5k without saving much you can certainly enable a lot for your kids. But if you want to save 2.6k of that money alone, then all of you live at Hartz IV level. That’s simply a fact you have to face. Things like horseback riding and two vacations a year will then only exist in the land of dreams. By the way, this also applies somewhat attenuated during the repayment phase.

So, no matter how nicely you talk the situation up (can do everything, have everything under control), you will live at Hartz IV level with this number of people in one household. Whether it’s worth it, you have to decide for yourselves.

Personally, I cannot begin to understand how, in your situation or with your background, you can come up with such nonsense as wanting to build a new house. You run from one disaster into another, but I assume you secretly know that yourself, which is why you react so aggressively here. If I were you, I would quickly get that whole project out of my head again and look for a suitable rental property. It should be clear that with your means it cannot be in Munich or Frankfurt either. Then you can calmly start with the (financial) planning.
And again, except in the East, you cannot build a house anywhere in Germany in the required size for 400k all in. And a lot of your own work is probably not possible on your part with a full-time job and 5 (!) kids, even if you theoretically could do everything yourself, which I do not doubt at all, but you simply do not have the necessary time for it.