For me, contract management means a compromise between the contracting parties
You place an order and wish a certain type of execution. The contractor should offer you a price for this and/or inform you which provisions he cannot agree to because he cannot implement them.
the search for a new BU costs us a lot of time again
That's true. Insisting on the current provider will (with some certainty) cost you time, nerves, and money.
According to the BU, we belong to the 20% of his customers who wanted an architect consultation and thoroughly examine the contract passages and do not sign the contract without changes.
I only partly believe that. There are customers who accept "no" changes in the contract, but I refuse to believe that they make up 80%. Of course, it could mean a certain period and not so many houses are built.
It was not about "legally valid" but initially about "legally secure" contracts
Here I would be interested in which difference you assign to these terms and what exactly YOU understand by "legally secure". Possibly other people see it differently. I wonder, for example, what you want with a "legally secure" work contract that is agreed to quite one-sidedly to your disadvantage.
that you are looking for solutions when your gut loudly says "No"?
Monetarily driven prevention of reason. Put simply: running laughing into a circular saw.
It is so unfortunate. The writing style is really good. The formulations are well chosen. There is otherwise an intelligent person behind the keyboard. Why so many abandon the path of reason on this topic .... I find it hard to understand.
We will negotiate,
... and lose. A lawyer advises you not to sign such a contract. In the forum, you are given tips on how to proceed if necessary and that you should look for other providers. This is not ignored, but it also does not lead to any corresponding behavioral adjustment.
This can all go well, but the signs do not look very good. Construction stress leads to disputes, frustration, and often separation/divorce. In addition, to debts and personal bankruptcy. The consequences of thoughtless actions and closing one's eyes to obvious disproportion have really long-lasting consequences if something goes wrong.
I keep my fingers crossed because you will most certainly build with the contractor you selected and hopefully will not fulfill the cliché.
