How is one supposed to imagine that? Does the neighbor then have a 3m high wall in the garden at 20m? That should definitely be calculated properly, otherwise the stuff will slide off at the first heavy rain.
I would be interested in photos of the situation. So that one can get an idea of what a solution might look like.
I see you initially placing your stones on the property boundary as a hopeless endeavor. That can only be done once the neighbor has set their retaining structure - ideally, you do this together with a continuous 3-bar jail wall.
Then probably only a "Together we can do it!" remains. Everything else will be a disaster. P.S. You can't prevent the visual disaster at the neighbor either...
How far would I need to stay away from the border so that nothing slips away? We want to hire a structural engineer to answer this question. To what extent is a structural engineer liable in the event of a slip? How far is the neighbor liable?
The problem is that the neighbor has designed his wall for his property, if it was even calculated at all... Your support will transfer the force into his support, where else should it go. And the neighbor's support will not be designed for that.